Last night, as you may have noticed, the Cyclones broke their 3 game losing streak in Carver-Hawkeye Arena. More importantly, the calm and collected Fred Hoiberg is now 1-0 versus the animated Fran McCaffery. If you didn't notice, Fran gets extremely agitated on the sidelines, even drawing a technical foul for his bad behavior. In an effort to discern just what exactly Fran was saying, we hired the best lip readers that a case of Natty and some non-lubed handies can buy. Here are the 100% accurate interpretations of Fran.
Here's Fran pretending he's blind as he pathetically approaches a cheerleader, hoping to grope her boobs.
Here's Fran throwing a temper tantrum after the ref told him he had to take a bath before going to bed.
"So you don't use your thumb when giving the Shocker? Huh."
"Oh God. I just sharted. We have to go NOW."
"How many times do we have to go over this! It's one, two SPIN three, four JAZZ HANDS. Keep the damn beat people!"
"Damn, I can't believe this isn't over yet. I really hope I remembered to DVR 'Wings'."
"Well that's bullshit. I clearly wrote my name on that pasta. Fred's going to steal my wife and now he's stealing my leftovers? FUCK!"
"Calm down man, it's not like she had any family."
"I bet you taste like strawberries."
Shout out to Cyphyllis for his insightful lip reading.