In the storied history of college football Texas Tech would not even register a blip were it not for the legend of former coach Mike Leach. Leach led the fighting GED's to unprecedented success, single-handedly pushing Tech past A&M to the glorified status of "2nd Best Texas School".
Besides leading Tech out of obscurity, Mike Leach was also noted for being a pirate, shattering passing records with an innovative high-powered offense and locking Craig James' bitch-ass son in a tool shed which coined the popular phases: "That guy is a tool" and "Took them to the woodshed".
That's right - I said he was a "pirate". How awesome is that?
Staying with that theme WRNL decided to take a stab at some other famous Big 12 "pirate-y" personalities:
Mike Leach - The Original Big 12 Pirate
Ok, so Leach wasn't really a pirate, but he liked pirate crap, had a pirate skeleton in his office and the beating heart of Craig James locked in a chest at the bottom of the sea. Since Leach was unjustly dismissed other things have happened to Texas Tech and I sure some boring stiff is coaching there now - makes me sleepy just typing about it.
Mack Brown - We Must Protect this House Pirate
WRNL already made Mack a famous pirate - notice how the hook also symbolizes the gayity of the Texas fascination with "hand signs". We're pretty deep sometimes.
Bill Snyder - An Actual Pirate
In his youth Bill, then Billy, sailed the high seas in search of treasure and plunder. Then came the discovery of the new world, invention of the combustion engine, and modernized shipping vessels forcing Bill into his current position as Kansas State football coach, though he still enjoys a good plunder.
Yell Leaders - Butt Pirates
No one tosses a 2-hole like a Texas A&M male cheerleader.
Dana Holgerson: Slash & Burn Pirate
Welcome to the Big 12 West Virginia, we're so excited to have a fellow riot loving school that we're waiving the formality of something silly like an "official announcement". Dana Holgerson has coached the Mountaineers for all of six games, and from the looks of the picture below is already Texas' ball-gargling lap boy. Hey, somebody had to take over Nebraska's job, whatever works.
Gary Patterson: Somali Pirate
TCU comes into the Big 12 as the classic little guy. Poor, malnourished, and full of AIDS.