Ferentz Inches Closer to Actually Defecating on Local Media

AP, Iowa City IA

During today's pre-Insight Bowl media conference, Kirk Ferentz was asked about the veracity of a rumor regarding the hospitalization of an Iowa football player.

Ferentz responded not in his usual fashion, which consists of waving his hand and saying "these aren't the droids you are looking for", but with a curt, juvenile jab at the reporters:

"Today? Boy, you guys have great sources. I passed gas out there about an hour into practice., Did you guys catch that on mic? I’ll see if I can muster one up for you right now."

Immediately following this response, several members of the Cedar Rapids Gazette and Iowa City Press Citizen started masturbating vigorously, aroused by yet another utterly uninformative and borderline insulting comment from Ferentz regarding the current state of his program.

There has been speculation for several years that Ferentz could actually shower the Iowa media in his own feces, and still receive their praises. Today, he took a step towards making that speculation a reality.

"Clearly, we're all just all hoping and praying that Kirk delivers a giant Boston Steamer on our collective chests, but we realize that one has to work up to those sort of things. You can't just start dropping chest dukes out of thin air," said an anonymous reporter from the Gazette. "Kirk offering to fart on us is probably the most exciting thing to happen on this front since he lied to our faces about the Rhabdo incident" the source noted noted.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Wide Right & Natty Lite

You must be a member of Wide Right & Natty Lite to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Wide Right & Natty Lite. You should read them.

Join Wide Right & Natty Lite

You must be a member of Wide Right & Natty Lite to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Wide Right & Natty Lite. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker