Earlier this week, a hilarious piece from Oklahoma State blog Cowboys Ride For Free
came across our barstoo - er, desk. This piece compares the 10 Big 12 schools to various popular musicians. We loved it, particularly their spot on description of ISU, so as an homage we are responding with our own Big 12 as Musician theme, but decided to give it a Classic Rock theme.
AC/DC. No credibility with critics, yet extremely popular with the masses. Just keeps carrying on year after year, album after album. Survived deaths/fall from grace of popular leaders by replacing them with essentially the same person (Bon Scott/Brian Johnson; Barry Switzer/(eventually Bob Stoops).
The Faces. No hit singles/championships of any kind. Not particularly popular with casual fans. Drunk. Sloppy. Loud. Beloved by a rabid, but small following of fans. More well known for being the starting footnote in a seemingly incompetent frontman's successful career (Rod Stewart, Gene Chizik) than any actual accomplishment.
Lynyrd Skynyrd. Obsessed with Alabama/the Southeast. Popular with people that are openly racist. Although anyone responsible for the glories of their past is probably dead, they continue to soldier on with a devoted following although the current line up is a shell of its former self.
Led Zeppelin. Stock, thoughtless answer to the question "who is the greatest classic rock (Big 12) team of all time?" Popular, and with good reason, but their most ardent fans never seem to know shit about any other bands/teams. 2006 National Title game is the football version of Stairway.
Molly Hatchet. I really shouldn't have to explain this.
The only reason anyone has ever heard of these ass clowns is because the little brother of Skynyrd's lead singer was in the band.
The Wallflowers. Ok, so it's not a classic rock band, but they'd be nowhere with out Daddy's (Bob Dylan/T. Boone Pickens) money, even though they aren't too bad in their own right.
Aerosmith. Rose to prominence by ripping off a proven system (the spread offense/The Rolling Stones) and implementing it for themselves. Quick success went to their head, but they soon began to spiral out of control in cocaine binges/horrible losses to the Hawkeyes.
Head East. Had one really big hit (2007/"Never Been Any Reason")
but otherwise it's just been a whole lot of suck.Kansas State:
Van Halen. Legitimately popular at one point in time, but burned out quickly after losing their front man. After a failed attempt at replacing him, an awkward reunion occurred, but everyone knows it ain't like the old days. Still popular with dudes who look like Vince Neil and get handjobs from chicks who look like Dee Snider in mid-80's Mustangs.
If you liked this adventure in Big 12 comparisons check out: http://www.widerightnattylite.com/articles/off-topic/the-big-12-as-beer.html