IOWA CAUCUS NIGHT DRINKING GAME FOR IOWANS
by CyHawk on Jan 3, 2012 7:11 PM CST
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While we here at WRNL are not allowed to officially endorse any political candidate or party*, because frankly, we don't want to be associated with any of them. We're just relieved that it ends tonight, and everyone heads for South Carolina and Santorum leaves us the fuck alone while were trying to watch the goddamn bowl game.
We do, however, support any opportunity to get good and drunk. With that in mind, here are tonight's official "WRNL Loves the Caucus Drinking Game." Rules are very simple:
TURN ON CNN.
- Take a drink any time you see someone you know.
- Take a drink any time they show their little cylindrical 3-D CGI people.
- Take a drink any time you see someone who isn't white.
- Take a drink any time you see a room or location you have been in.
- Finish your drink if you have ever been drunk, naked, or had sex in the forementioned location.
LETS GIVE THIS WHOLE PROCESS THE AMOUNT OF RESPECT IT ACTUALLY DESERVES!
(*We have written-in "Troy Davis" on our ballots in every election except 2006, when we just scrawled "Fuck The Hawks" across the page in giant letters, drew a fire-breathing gnome sitting on a mushroom toking up in the "Do not write here" space, dropped a biohazard-level fart in the polling booth, and walked out.)
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Please don't take this the wrong... :-)
But I only think of Iowa when we play y’all and every few years when it is time for the Iowa caucus.
"Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance." - Anthony J. D'Angelo
It's ok
we only think of Texas when we play you guys an dwhen it snows and no one has shoveled our driveways.
Wait. That’s Mexico.
Carry on.
"We're getting drunk today, Rand. Quart of rye each."
by NormanUnderwood on Jan 5, 2012 11:16 AM CST reply actions
We hire Aggies to shovel our driveways for all those heavy snowstorms. They actually believe it snows in Austin.
"Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance." - Anthony J. D'Angelo
by dimecoverage on Jan 5, 2012 11:55 AM CST up reply actions
Brilliant
How often does it take for them to start chanting and engaging in homoerotic “cheers” in your driveway?
"We're getting drunk today, Rand. Quart of rye each."
by NormanUnderwood on Jan 6, 2012 10:13 AM CST up reply actions
They do that naturally. Unfortunately, you cannot stop them.
"Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance." - Anthony J. D'Angelo
by dimecoverage on Jan 6, 2012 11:49 AM CST up reply actions
Did you know...
Rick Perry was a Yell leader at A&M? So many jokes there, not enough time in the day.
So Texas has had two governors that couldn’t get into Texas. Perry (Google his grades) and Bush, who applied to the UT law school but the dean wouldn’t let him in.
"Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance." - Anthony J. D'Angelo
by dimecoverage on Jan 6, 2012 11:51 AM CST up reply actions
I think everyone knows Perry was a Yell Leader.
It just explains so, so much.
"We're getting drunk today, Rand. Quart of rye each."
by NormanUnderwood on Jan 6, 2012 12:01 PM CST reply actions
Yes, it does.
"Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance." - Anthony J. D'Angelo
by dimecoverage on Jan 6, 2012 12:18 PM CST up reply actions
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