10:00 AM - TEAM MEETING
"Morning, men! Welcome to Kansas State football's first team meeting. I trust you're all filled with piss n' vinegar, like me! Well, at first I was just filled with vinegar...
Now! Let's review discipline:
Missin' a blocking assignment? That's a paddlin'.
Forgettin' to use your Lister's Carbonic Unguent and Snyder's Revitalizing Tonic? That's a paddlin'.
Makin' fun of my ear hair? That's a paddlin'.
Paddlin' the school canoe around Tuttle Creek? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin."
11:00 AM - EXPLAINS OFFENSIVE PHILOSOPHY
"I tell you, football's changed. I used to be with it, then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary."
12:00 PM - MEETING WITH BOOSTERS
4:00 PM - POST-PRACTICE PEP TALK