SPRING FOOTBALL: The Rhoads Grizzly Emerges From His Slumber

1) The yearly cycle of the adult North American Rhoads Grizzly is a simple, yet elegant process. Each summer, the Rhoads Grizzly begins a period of preparation, surrounding himself with younger members of his pack. The wiser, more experienced Rhoads Grizzly uses this time to teach his proteges about the ways of the world, giving them the tools needed to survive in the wild.

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fig. 1: The Rhoads Grizzly in Summer

2) After this summer of training and preparation, when the Rhoads Grizzly has taught his young charges all he knows; he will lead his pack out of the den to hunt and find food. This is dangerous time for younger members of the group, as the Rhoads Grizzly immediately encounters other creatures of the forest; such as panthers, hawks, wildcats, steers and heavily armed, drunken hunters from the mountains.

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fig. 2: The Rhoads Grizzly hunting his prey

3) While the Rhoads Grizzly is by nature a friendly creature, he will never back down when an outsider challenges his domain. A fierce competitor, the Rhoads Grizzly intimidates rivals with an elaborate dance and outsized displays of aggression. Through animated movements and a guttural series of barks and shouts, the Rhoads Grizzly shows his ursine mastery over the animal kingdom.

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Fig. 3: The Rhoads Grizzly demonstrating his war cry

4) While the Rhoads Grizzly doesn't always emerge victorious from these skirmishes, his proteges always learn valuable life lessons. After a particularly large kill, the Rhoads Grizzly cleans off with a much-needed bath.

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fig. 4: The Rhoads Grizzly refreshing with a quick dip

5) As fall gives way to winter, the hunting season has ended and the Rhoads Grizzly must prepare for the next year. The Rhoads Grizzly has lost several members of his pack to old age and injury during the past year, and must replenish his forces. By venturing from his lair and bringing in promising younger individuals from other areas, the Rhoads Grizzly can keep his tribe at full-strength and ready for next season's hunt.

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fig. 5: The Rhoads Grizzly with new members of the pack

6) At this point in winter, the Rhoads Grizzly is exhasted, but content. He knows his pack is prepared for the next year, and readies himself for hibernation. By adding to his fat stores and preparing his den from outside invaders, the Rhoads Grizzly can sleep uninterrupted for up to two months.

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fig. 6: The Rhoads Grizzly at rest

7) Approximately two months later, the Rhoads Grizzly emerges from hibernation, rested and ready for the new year. He has added an extra layer of fur to protect himself against the harsh Midwestern winter, and the cycle of life continues.

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fig. 7: HE HAS AWOKEN

Spring football practices began Tuesday, March 20th. Let's do this shit, Rhoads.

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