All of those years of going to Church and hearing fire and brimstone speeches from my Pastor have all have gone down the drain. Hell has nothing over iowa city, and I survived last Saturday, even while wearing my Cyclone Zubaz pants.
Parking: You think Eastsiders are bad during the State Fair? i/c parking is worse, and the homeowners have less teeth. Best choice for i/c? Whore out their golf course and let fans walk two miles to the stadium. Believe me, that's a long way to haul a wheeled cooler. Don't open a Diet Coke on your walk to the stadium, Johnson County's "finest" will want to sniff it to make sure you haven't put any "good stuff" in it.
Tailgating: Where you gonna do it? A few choices here. The above mentioned toothless owners yards, where you can drink whatever you want, do whatever you want, and get a deal on meth, or the whored out Finkbine where you better not stumble on the way to the stadium or you will face a fine and jail time, or the best option:
Mooch off your high school buddy who went to iowa for 6 years and is only 30 hours away from his degree.
This sounds great as his only request is "Bring Beer!!", and his spot is right by the West entrance. When you get there, you realize that you can't have a cocktail because hard liquor is NOT ALLOWED. No Bloody Mary's, NO Bacardi's and Diets, none of that. If you are caught w/ hard liquor, it's removed and you are fined. Cecil Rhoads who is tailgating a couple of spots away thinks this is BS, and Terry Branstad who is on the other side and doing shots of Yager, gets his bottle confiscated while yelling "WTF????!!!".
Getting into the game: Even though the stadium has been recently renovated, you have to wait in about 5 lines to get to your seat. The improvement in Jack Trice was noticeable, in this stadium it's not.
Game Time: Who are the rednecks? The hawkeye video board culminates with a semi running over a Cyclone helmet, and a loud scream of git' er done or go hawks or something like that. Then the canary yellow pom pom's come out and it gets loud until the Cyclones go down and immediately score a TD. Then it's a library.
Going home. I 80W is just like I 35 south except longer and more road construction. But you can listen to Z (who sounds amazing similar to Mr. Richard Adler) , Jon Miller, and a "sober" Ed Podolak. A great drinking game is to take a shot everytime a hawkeye "fan" complains about "Coach furrentz", just keep your eyes on the road because the last I remember the count had got to 17 by Newton.
Halftime shot only this week.....
Western Ill 0