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In honor of Hate Week, I’d like to share a song

In honor of Hate Week, I’d like to share a song we used to sing from my days in the ISUCF”V”MB.

That’s the Marching Band for those of you looking at that bit of alphabet soup and asking “What the fuck?” Why were we singing songs you ask? Because we had to have something to do while we were drinking our sorrows away. This was in the mid-90’s and we had either just seen, or would soon be watching another Cyclone football game where we had a 90% chance of losing so badly it would make your eyes burn. And before you say you remember going to those games, no you don’t because often the band and the cheerleaders were about the only ones in the stadium besides the football teams. This was the end of Jim Walden, the beginning of Dan McCarney, and the middle of a 15 game losing streak to those fuckers in Iowa City. The curse of Hayden Fry still hung over our team, Seneca Wallace was in Jr. High and Troy Davis had not yet been screwed by Hiesman voters who couldn’t understand that rushing for 2000+ yards for two consecutive seasons when everyone in America knew you were our only option is pretty fucking amazing. They were cold, dark days, and like those sent to Siberia to endure similar cold, dark days, all we had was drink drove and song.

Anyhow, the song is sung to the tune of “Oh My Darlin’ “ so at this weekend's tailgate, grab a red red solo cup full of the cheapest swill they put in a keg, point your self in the direction of a D-Bag in a hawk jersey, and channel your inner Justin Timerlake.

I’m an asshole

I’m an asshole

I’m an asshole ‘till I die

But I’d rather be an asshole than a goddamned Hawkeye

I’m a piece of shit

I’m a piece of shit

I’m a piece of shit, I know

But I’d rather be a piece of shit, than a black and gold dildo

In the Big 10

Where men screw men

There’s a place called U of I

70,000 screaming assholes and a dick named Hayden Fry

(I suppose the final verse could use some updating but the good folks at WRNL are probably creative enough to give it a modern spin)

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