Forde Thousand Beers

Everybody pictured here is getting a beer! - Reese Strickland

Five years ago Yahoo writer Pat Forde promised the success of Gene Chizik in Ames or he'd "buy every Iowa State fan a beer". We're damn thirsty Pat, and you have a tab that needs clearing.

David Ubben, relax your pretty little head - WRNL's attention have been diverted. Sure, David still owes Ames a visit, he owes us a day of his time, and he owes us one single football game covered in person to complete his Big 12 punch card and fulfill his job title as Big 12 Blogger.

But that is all for another day as there is a much more pressing matter at hand, Pat Forde owes us some fuckin' beers!

In a recent article Yahoo writer Pat Forde titled Ames, Iowa the "Worst Big 12 Town" with no explanation as to why. Much of Cyclone Nation took great offense and took to the internet to do serious internetification, but we here at WRNL barely blinked. The Big 12 towns are broken down into two categories: Austin, Texas & Not Austin, Texas. The differences in the "Not Austins" are negligble, so why fight one writer's random opinion?

But then this happened:

This references a Pat Forde article from 2006 that slobbers all over the greatness of Gene Chizik and most importantly promises:

"If Chizik doesn't succeed, The Dash will buy a round for every Cyclone fan five years from now in Ames."

Beers Forde - Lets see 'em.

The next couple games are sold out, stadium capacity is 56,800. At $3.50 a bottle, you're not getting away with draws, that's about $200,000 for every man, women & child in the stadium. Yes, the kids get beers too - you promised them too. It'll teach them a life lesson on honoring their commitments. There will be another 10 or 15 thousand without tickets that keep the tailgate going outside of Jack Trice and we'll want to beer them too - so round it off to an even $250,000. We'll be nice and not include fans outside the city limits, even though your statement was fairly inclusive to the entire fanbase - but we're Iowans, and we're nice like that.

That's a lot of cash, even for someone earning a fat internet sports writer salary - but your word is your honor, Pat. Time to make right, Dashman.

Worst town ... whatever - worst town with free beers comin!

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