Quarterback Wheel of Fortune

With no clear candidate distinguishing themselves for the starting QB job, Coach Mess has once again turned to a popular gameshow in order to determine who will lead the Cyclone offense in the bowl game against Tulsa.

Pat Messajak: "...and welcome back to Cyclones TV. The category for the next puzzle is 'Food and Drink.'

Boardblank_medium

Mess: Steele, you won the coin flip we have before each kickoff, so once again you'll start."

Steele Jantz: Awesome. I'd like to bid $1.

Mess: What?

Steele: I did my homework this time, brah. Googled some shit. Learned some strategery. Wikipedia said that a $1 bid wins more often than any other price. Therefore, my bid is $1.

Mess
: Spin the big wheel, you moron.

Steele: (Reaches down and spins wheel) Yeah, I googled "the big wheel" and learned all about this show. I assume the MILF over there is going to take us through the showcase showdown prizes next? (Wheel lands on $400.)

Mess: Steele, please pick a letter before I decide you are a lost cause and move on to the next contestant.

Jared Barnett: (to Richardson, quietly): ...Wouldn't be the first time that happened.

Steele (Glares at Barnett): Shut up, Little B!

Mess: There are four B's. You get $1600.

Steele: Shit, that was easy! (Spins Wheel Again. It lands on $900)

Steele: Gimme a W. Cause that's what I do. I win. Which starts with "W." Which is why I picked that letter. Cuz I'm a born winner.

Mess: One "W."

Guess1_medium



Steele: I'd like to solve. What is "BBW BLOWS EVERYBODY ?"

*buzzer sound*


Mess: I'm sorry, that's incorrect. I'm not even sure what the hell you just said. B-B-W?

Steele: Google it, Brah.

Sam: I wouldn't if I were you, Coach.

Mess: Jared, your turn.

(Jared Spins wheel, lands on $600)

JB: "Hmm, since this is a test, they'll probably assume we've researched the most used letters. So if I do the opposite... "Q".

Mess: Amazingly, there is one Q.


JB: (squeals like a little kid, jumping up and down) "EEEEEEEEE!"

Mess: There is one "E"...

JB: OH! HOT DAMN!

Mess: And one "O"...

Guess2_medium


JB: Wow, that unpopular letter thing worked great! Better try again.... "X!"

*buzzer*

Sam: "I'll Spin."

(Sam spins, lands on $500)

Sam: "L"

Mess: 3 L's.

Sam: I'd like to buy an "I"

Mess: 4 I's:

Guess3_medium


Sam: I'll Solve: "BBQ BOWL ELIGIBILITY"

Mess: "You got it!" (Victory music plays)

Mess: This being a Prize Puzzle, tell him what he's won!

Voiceover: "You've won a first class, all expenses trip to beautiful Memphis,Tennessee to start in the Liberty Bowl! Now you and your teammates can enjoy all the trimmings of true Memphis Barbecue, getting shanked in dark alleys off of Beale Street, and all the Natty Lite you can drink! (Once you turn 21, of course.)

Mess: ...And since whoever wins the prize puzzle always wins the overall total these days in Wheel of Fortune, you'll be playing in our bonus round! We'll be right back after these messages from Scheels' Sporting Goods and the Iowa Pork Producers' Association.

(cut to commercial)

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Wide Right & Natty Lite

You must be a member of Wide Right & Natty Lite to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Wide Right & Natty Lite. You should read them.

Join Wide Right & Natty Lite

You must be a member of Wide Right & Natty Lite to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Wide Right & Natty Lite. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker