Here at WRNL, we believe in the democratic process and thought about giving our endorsement of a presidential candidate. Instead, we've decided to make fun of the entire process and compare the "respected" candidates to Big 12 schools. (I mean, who really gives a shit what Vermont thinks? That state sucks maple syrup. Hard.) So without further adieu, here are Big 12 schools as 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates.

Texas = Mitt Romney
Both have a vault full of gold, which they dive and swim around in, yet both mysteriously don’t ever die. Both are huge favorites to win, but have continually underachieved by having giant egos/small wieners. Texas will also visit Joseph Smith and the Mormons in 2013, about the same time Mitt will be looking for a real first name in Massachusetts.

(Warning: Lots of profanity below the jump. Depending on where you work, possibly NSFW)

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You don't have to be crazy to blow $47.7 million. But it helps.

Mack "Brownster" Brown is a simple guy. Loves football, loves Texas and loves coaching, despite not being especially good at it. But unknown to him, Brownster has a wealthy benefactor; the University of Texas athletic director DeLoss Dodds. In order to find out if Brownster knows the value of money, DeLoss has a little proposition for him...

(Interior of DeLoss Dodd's office. Dodds is huffing an ether-soaked rag)

DeLoss Dodds: Let me tell you a little story, Brownster. When I was seven years old, my daddy caught me smoking a cigar. Locked me in a broom closet for two days and two nights with nothing more than a box of cigars and a book of matches. No food Brownster, no water, just those goddamn cigars. Wouldn't let me out till I finished every last one of them. Taught me a HELL of a lesson! So I'm gonna do what my daddy did to me. I'm gonna waste as much goddamn money as possible to prove a ridiculous point!

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Wide Right & Natty Lite Ballot - Week 16

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Alabama Crimson Tide	2
2	Oklahoma St. Cowboys	--
3	LSU Tigers	-2
4	Oregon Ducks	2
5	Arkansas Razorbacks	2
6	USC Trojans	-1
7	Stanford Cardinal	-3
8	South Carolina Gamecocks	3
9	Boise St. Broncos	-1
10	Wisconsin Badgers	-1
11	Baylor Bears	2
12	West Virginia Mountaineers	9
13	Michigan St. Spartans	1
14	Michigan Wolverines	3
15	Oklahoma Sooners	4
16	Kansas St. Wildcats	-6
17	TCU Horned Frogs	1
18	Houston Cougars	5
19	Georgia Bulldogs	-4
20	Southern Miss. Golden Eagles	2
21	Clemson Tigers	-9
22	Virginia Tech Hokies	-6
23	Florida St. Seminoles	2
24	Nebraska Cornhuskers	-4
25	Cincinnati Bearcats	--
Dropouts: Penn St. Nittany Lions

SB Nation BlogPoll College Football Top 25 Rankings "

And with that, the final week of the BlogPoll is complete. No real surprises here. I will once again point out the absurdity that LSU even had to play Alabama again when they had already defeated them in Tuscaloosa, and was very tempted to vote LSU #1 had they been competitive Monday night. I may have favored Oklahoma State over Alabama for the slot in the National Championship, but Bama was dominant, so I rewarded them as such.

I tried to keep the winner between teams with similar records in front (i.e. MSU over Michigan, OU over KSU) but of course, this was super screwed up with the Oregon-Stanford-USC mess.

Neither USC nor Boise really deserved to drop a spot for winning, but I'll just blame USC for cheating and Boise for having blue turf, because I had no room for all these teams.

Full analysis of poll results by Andy Hutchins here. Notable is our friend In The Bleachers becoming the George Wine of the blogging world, being the only blogger to vote Oklahoma State #5. I know the man hates spread offenses, but that's some impressive hate.

So it's Monday night and you're not an SEC fan and enjoy offense but still want to watch the BCS National Championship Game. What are you to do? Make a drinking game, of course.

Drink one with every Harvey Updyke reference. Harvey was actually in NOLA answering questions yesterday!

Drink one if the announcers make a controversy out of an of-age Bama player playing craps before team curfew.

Drink one every time the awesomeness of the SEC is mentioned, or if we hear an "SEC! SEC!" chant.

Drink one for each use of the nickname "Honey Badger".

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May God have mercy on those of you who got stuck working. But for those of you who are, good news comes in the fact that 5 of the 6 games are available on ESPN3.

Here's the schedule for today: (All times Central)

Ticket City Bowl: Houston vs. Penn State 11:00 a.m. ESPNU

The game where everybody's a Houston fan! Case Keenum is playing in the last game of his 12 year NCAA career, which is only 3 years short of Jordan Shipley's record. Something to watch for on the side: Crazy protesters outside of the Cotton Bowl.

Capital One Bowl: Nebraska vs. South Carolina 12:00 p.m. ESPN/ESPN3

Spurrier vs. Big Red in a 1996 flashback. You know, except we have Taylor Martinez (aka AIDs on two feet) shot-putting passes instead of Tommie Frazier. Personally, I'm hoping for a dozen shots of Stephen Garcia getting hammered in the stands.

Gator Bowl: Florida vs. Ohio State 12:00 p.m. ESPN2/ESPN3

FOR ALL THE SLAYED TAXES. Also, for those who are interested in watching the 2007 National Title Game, or two offensively challenged 6-6 teams. It's almost like watching Pinstripe Bowl edition Iowa State play themselves! If you have any regard for life, don't play this drinking game.

Outback Bowl: Georgia vs. Michigan State 12:00 p.m. ABC

Another Big 10 vs. SEC showdown, both teams looking to do better than last year's bowl season, when Georgia was beaten by Central Florida, and Michigan State was curb stomped by Alabama. Michigan State also owns the nation's second longest bowl losing streak after Georgia Tech. But they did give us this play, so let's hope for more of that..

Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Wisconsin 4:00 p.m. ESPN/ESPN3

Starting to get more interesting... Love the contrast in styles between the programs and Oregon's helmets. I guess as a Big 12 fan, you're rooting for the Oregon style of play. After the game, LaMichael James and Montee Ball will address NFL scouts' concerns about their shortcomings by combining into LaMontee Bames.

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Stanford 7:30 p.m. ESPN/ESPN3

Pace your drinking today, because this is the one you're really waiting for. Or get super hammered and annoy everyone you're with about how Iowa State screwed everything up for Oklahoma State and the Big 12. Heisman winner Robert Griffin III struggled against Oklahoma State's much maligned defense... how will runner up Andrew Luck do?

This year's New Era Pinstripe Bowl will be the 4th bowl game ever played in NYC. If history is any indication, tomorrow's game will be anything but normal. Here's a brief rundown of the history of failed post-season college football in New York.

GOTHAM BOWL 0 - 1960 (No Game Played)

From the New York Times:

Headlines trumpeted the Gotham Bowl as a welcome addition to the 1960 bowl parade. Organizers envisioned a packed Yankee Stadium with brass bands and 55,000 cheering fans. They trotted out the former Giants great Ken Strong to drum up excitement. Wouldn’t it be great, Strong wondered aloud, if Notre Dame or Syracuse would accept invitations to play?

But Notre Dame did not play bowl games in those days. Syracuse turned down an invitation to the Gotham Bowl, as did Oregon State, Colorado and even Holy Cross. Who could blame them? Mid-December in New York is usually, well, bone-chillingly cold. The result: no Gotham Bowl in 1960.

Think about that for a second. They expected 55,000 cheering fans to show up to a December bowl game in NYC. They even trotted out a former New York Giant to try and get some marquee talent on board (and when that failed, Colorado.)

It should be noted at this point that there were only 9 Bowl Games played at the end of the 1960 season. Rose, Sugar, Orange, Cotton, Sun, Gator, Tangerine, Bluebonnet, and Liberty. Only 18 teams actually got to play in Bowl Games back then. How times have changed.

This would be nothing more than a sad case of delusional expectations had it not been for the absolutely ridiculous invitation process:

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AP, Iowa City IA

During today's pre-Insight Bowl media conference, Kirk Ferentz was asked about the veracity of a rumor regarding the hospitalization of an Iowa football player.

Ferentz responded not in his usual fashion, which consists of waving his hand and saying "these aren't the droids you are looking for", but with a curt, juvenile jab at the reporters:

"Today? Boy, you guys have great sources. I passed gas out there about an hour into practice., Did you guys catch that on mic? I’ll see if I can muster one up for you right now."

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We’re four games into bowl season and only one of those has truly been lackluster (looking at you New Mexico Bowl). Even Marshall’s 20-10 victory over FIU last night was interesting for stretches at a time. How about those Beef O’Brady’s commercials though? I don’t know about you but a few of us WRNL writers were really hoping for this bowl just so we could check out one of the FORTY SEVEN locations in the greater Tampa area.

With TCU taking on Louisiana Tech tonight we thought it appropriate to get our preview on for the Big XII bowl games. Taking a page from A Chirstmas Carol, we are visiting the teams of Big XII past (Missouri and aTm), present and future (TCU and West Virginia).

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: TCU vs Louisiana Tech – December 21^st, 7 PM CST – ESPN

This game pits future Big XII conference member TCU against possible future Iowa State Offensive Coordinator Tony Franklin. TCU rebounded from a slow defensive start to the season to finish 32^nd nationally in total defense. This isn’t up to the top 10 performances of Gary Patterson’s former teams but quite the accomplishment considering all the weapons that were lost from last year’s Rose Bowl team.

Louisiana Tech enters the contest ranked 49^th nationally in total yards and having won seven in a row after starting the season 1-4. Both teams come in with high flying offenses that love to sling the ball around but the difference maker here will be TCU’s ever improving defense. Expect a close game through the first half with TCU beginning to pull away late.

TCU 41, Louisiana Tech 24

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