You know those fancy Facebook applications that are always "How ______ Are You?"; well this is exactly like that, but cooler, and raunchier. So if you dare, take our extremely complex survey and find out for yourself just how much of a degenerate you really are. Feel free to give us your scores in the comments below. Just add up the numbers that correspond with your answers to the questions in Bold and check to see where you are in the legend below.
Question 1: What would you rather do on a Friday night?
1. Go out drinking
2. Dinner with grandma
3. Play computer games
4. Watch reruns of life goes on
Question 2: What/who do you find to be the most humorous of the following?
3. The Lawrence Welk Show
4. Kathy Griffen
Question 3: The Jackass movies are...
2. Pretty funny
3. Childish at times, but tolerable
4. I can't stand them, they are stupid
Question 4: If offered all of the following at the same time and told you could only pick one, you would choose...
1. Two chicks at the same time
2. Free booze for a month
3. A day pass to Adventureland
4. A one year magazine subscription to World of Warcraft cheats/game tips
Question 5: Stinkpalming someone you hate is...
1. Hilariously awesome
2. Mildly funny
3. Completely inappropriate and unhygenic
4. I'm not familiar with the stink palm
Question 6: When Nebraska and Iowa play next year, you cheer for...
1. The Taliban
2. Stay neutral
What most defines the term "pedofile" out of the following things?
1. Herbie Husker
2. A windowless panel van with "free candy" spray panted on the side
3. Creepy bearded man in a poncho and aviators, handing out candy at an elementary school
4. Jose Valentin's mustache
(Clearly the answer is #1. This question is simply to verify that you aren't just randomly answering and skewing our very scientific results. Do not add this to your total)
Question 7: It's really dark. You hear a knock on your bedroom door and get up to answer it and reach for the knob. Where you think the doorknob should be is your buddy's crank and you accidentally grab on to it. This is…
1. God damn funny. "He got you good you FUCKER"
2. Sorta gay, but still funny
3. Getting old. Grow up guys
4. The worst thing imaginable
Question 8: The following picture is...
1. OMG I'm almost crying. That's awesome!
2. I LOL'd
3. That totally explains my childhood
4. Completely offensive
Question 10: A WRNL mailbag would be like...
1. Stewart Mandel's but with more homosexuality sprinkled in
2. Awesome in small doses
3. A Peter King turd: Hard and preachy
4. Giving a sponge bath to your Grandpa
Surprise Bonus Question! You're at a party and you meet a nice girl. Later that night you end up hooking up. Mid-thrust you notice that she has a Hawkeye tramp stamp. Your next move is to...
1. Use it as a target, never call her again, head directly to student health for every STD exam available
2. Brag to friends that you tapped that
3. Cuddle, post coitous. Tell her how much that meant to you
4. Take her home to mom
How To Score:
10 or less : You are not only a badass, but you appreciate the finer things in life.
11-18: Still a normal guy, but not living up to your true potential.
18-25: You're an in-between. Half normal, half total d-bag, most likely a Coldplay fan... but still tolerable.
26-33: If Spencer Pratt were here, even he would tell you you're a fag.
34-40: Christ man... the elderly don't even like you.