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They Call Him Hiawatha

WRNL sat down to finish off the 2010 football season in the same way we started it, with a little perspective from THE Hiawatha Rutland!

WRNL: What's your take on the 2010 Cyclones football team. They are not going bowling, but did more this season than most people predicted. What are some positives you took away for this year?

We have a good defense. Our linebackers are young and very talented. I think next year the defense will set the tone and we will be more explosive at runningback. I just hope we do away with the shotgun handoffs. Our offense is too predictable. On a positive note, we just faced arguably the toughest schedule in history. Having had that experience, as next year's schedule could prove just as tough, can only lead me to believe that we will be better because we know we can compete with anyone in the country... except Utah, and we do not play them anymore. Additionally, I think losing the Big XII Championship game will allow us a chance to close to gap as we will play Oklahoma and Texas every year instead of waiting every two years to get blown out for two years.

hiawathaWRNL: Who's your Cyclone player of the year and why?

The tight end Collin Franklin is my hero. He is big, he is fast, and he kicks major ass! There was not a more consistent player on the field. I look forward to drafting him in my fantasy league next fall. Yes, I know, I am a loser. I tried to avoid fantasy but my friends got me involved this year and I stunk it up so I have to redeem myself now that I know the rules.

WRNL: What's it like after the final game of the season is over as a senior? Any suggestions to the players that laced it up for the last time this year?

Cry. Football is the greatest team sport. I still feel lost without it. If you have the opportunity to go to the next level that is great. However, if you do not, just find some way to be a productive citizen and do not let people know that you used to play. All they want to know is why are you not in the NFL... you must have sucked! It hurts. I am crying right now as I type this.

WRNL: As it is your specialty, what are your thoughts on the runningbacks? Final assessment of A-Rob? What you like/think needs improvement with Johnson or Woody? Would a professional comedian consider a Johnson & Woody joke "too easy"?

A Rob robbed me of a chance to brag about how great he is. It is a difficult thing to succeed when teams game plan against you. It is also difficult to be a back to back Big XII leading rusher from the F'N shotgun. Did I mention I hate shotgun handoffs? He is very explosive; however, this year the offense did not allow him to be as dominant as he was in the past. He carried the ball too much last year and his body sort of let him down. I still think he is a great back though. He needs to be in a different offense. As far as for Woody and Johnson, they hit the hole hard. They are in and out of the hole quickly. They have great burst. They switch it up with speed and power. Both backs will gain plenty of yards next year if ISU gets out of the shotgun. Are they afraid the center will give the quarterback some type of incurable hand rash?

WRNL: We want you to know we predicted the ISU upset over Texas in our game preview largely because you guaranteed it last time we spoke. We assume that earned you wide-spread acclaim and droves of scantily clad admirerers like it did for us?

I got lucky. Texas sucked. I mainly predicted that because I knew Oklahoma would destroy us and Texas would take us lightly as the game was at their place. People called me from all over the world asking for stock tips and wanted to take pictures with me. A man on the subway hugged me and stole my wallet. I told myself I would see him again . I saw him the next day and he returned my wallet. He stole all my money; but, he did return the wallet.

a_rutland_iWRNL: What are you thoughts for next year's football team. Who will be the face of this team in the future in your opinion (FYI, after the Texas prediction, we now assume all Hiawatha opinions to be FACT!)

Shontrelle Johnson will be the man. He is a running back from Florida. Also, those linebackers are exciting to watch. They are cocky and bring it every play. Defense has a swagger that should boost the offense's confidence in taking chances because they know we will get the ball back

WRNL: Now that you're out are you more of a college football or NFL guy? Are you winning your fantasy league? What are you watching this weekend; Big XII championship game, Auburn-South Carolina, an NFL match up? maybe going to see Harry Potter now that the crowds have died down?

I am a college football guy. I hate watching the NFL and seeing guys I played against making plays on Sundays. I could not watch two seconds of a game up until this year without crying or wishing my knee still worked. I have been doing fantasy and I am currently in 11th place in a 12 player league and 16th place in a 16 player league. I score 100 points or pretty close every week and still find ways to lose. I hate fantasy because there are no substitutions. It does not utilize my in game strategic skills. For example, if my quarterback breaks his leg on the first play of the game, I am not going to leave him in. That would only happen in a fantasy world. Also, I am not very good because I do not spend time on fantasy websites researching players and all the other stuff the losers who never laced it up that are in my league do to gain a competitive edge over me. I still love them and they buy me drinks with all the money they took from me. Therefore, it is actually not a bad deal.

WRNL: Anything exciting going on with Hiawatha since we last spoke? Can Cyclone fans still follow you and your Wednesday blog on Facebook?

The blog has taken over my life man. If I do not post it by a certain time people complain and I have to make one up. I talk about teaching and I give advice to people. Also, I blog about the crazy stuff that happens in NYC and all the rude and funny stuff my students say and do to me. I fear for the future of this country when I receive papers from students who do not know how to differentiate between there, their, and they're... it is sad really. A student of mine wrote a paper and wrote "tee.vee" referring to the television. On the other hand, I helped a student write a paper and she told me "Oh snap, I thought you were slow," when I gave her a different way to view her point she was making. I need to get back on stage. People need to know how the children treat me!

You can follow Hiawatha and his Wednesday blog on Facebook

WRNL: Will you be attending the NYC Pinstripe Bowl, since it's right in your backyard?

I thought about volunteering but it is starting to get cold up here and if ISU is not playing I boycott college football.

WRNL: Who will be the National Champion this year?

I do not even know who is in the running but I hope Auburn gets beat by 40 in the championship game while Cam Newton watches from his jail cell hugging his Heisman trophy saying "if Hiawatha never would have hurt his knee they would have won the Big XII North."

As always, Hiawatha is the man! And if we learned something about him today, it is that he is not the biggest fan of spread offenses, or Cameron Newton for that matter.

Look for more interviews from WRNL to come in the near future. Remember, when questioning if an interview on this site is legit or completely made up, consult your handy guide to the WRNL interview.