(Phone rings in the Big 10 Head Office)
Delaney: (talking to secretary off the phone, yet clearly audible) How the hell did this asshole get my number? Alvarez? Fucking loud mouth spi-
Pollard: JIM! JIM! Did you get my messages?
Delaney: All 150 of them? No. Not a clue. I had no idea you guys wanted in.
Pollard: Oh, thank God. I was worried you hadn’t gotten any of them. Do you know about ISU’s excellent research program?
Delaney: Seriously. Do you think we care about any of that?
Pollard: But it’s in your bylaws! Delaney: (evil cackle) BYLAWS?!
Barta: Hey! What the hell is going on here? How in the sam hell did Pollard get a hold of you?
Delaney: Barta, get on your knees, thank God Iowa is already part of the Big 10, and start sucking.
Pollard: But Mr. Commissioner, we’re #22 in the Director’s Cup.
Delaney: You have a great volleyball program. Do you want a fucking cookie? Mother of god…
Barta: If you even entertain letting ISU into the Big 10, we’re out.
Delaney: Don’t let the door hit you…
Pollard: (interrupting) So you’re saying there’s a chance? He’s just afraid that it’s actually going to count when we kick their ass. You know, over the last 12 years ISU is leading the series. We’re ruling the di-hexade! Delaney: We’re not letting you in either. Good lord, are you people retarded?
Pollard: As retarded as your mom! (giggles like a school girl)
Delaney: (hangs up phone)
Pollard: So, Gary, I’m thinking about putting up a banner across from Kinnick to celebrate our basketball victory. It’s a Cyclone STATE!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Barta: Fuck you.
(hangs up phone)