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WRNL looks at the 2010 ISU Football Season, Part 1: Northern Illinois

We want to introduce a weekly segment which we’re going to do for the next 12 weeks. We’re going to break down each opponent on ISU’s football schedule in an inane, irreverent, and derogatory fashion. We can promise you little to no actual analysis, or anything close to resembling an intelligent thought.

As most Cyclone fans know, the first opponent of the 2010 Football Season is the Northern Illinois Huskies. We’re going to show you just a little more about our first opponent.

Home Stadium: The Huskies play in the creatively titled Huskie Stadium in beautiful, DeKalb, Illinois. As a member of the illustrious Mid-American Conference, Huskie Stadium regularly draws crowds of upwards of 10,000 people. With a capacity centering in around 31,000, clearly it’s quite a facility.

This place makes Jack Trice look big

The pride of DeKalb, indeed.

Mascot: Clearly, no break down of an opponent is complete without a full analysis of their mascot. Enter, Victor E. Huskie.

Why don't you love me?

You can just tell that he’s a left over pound dog. One that the owners gave away because he wouldn’t stop pissing in the living room, or eating the couch cushions. When he isn’t busy humping lamp shades, you can probably find him barfing up upholstery behind the bushes. My guess is that he would be easily repelled with a rolled newspaper and a stern tone of voice. What a pussy.

The Team: The Huskies are actually a semi-ok team. Coming off a 7 win season that included a "marquee" win at Purdue, the Huskies made their way into the International Bowl (where they were slaughtered by South Florida 27-3) by beating such stalwarts as Western Illinois, Western Michigan, Eastern Michigan, and several other schools whose names include directions. Also, former ISU Vocal Support Engineer (IE "back up"), Cameron Bell is on the roster for the Huskies at RB.

They return most of the key contributors on offense including their starting QB Chandler Harnish, and their leading rusher and receiver. They could be a salty group, but will likely cower in fear,and piss themselves when Wally Burnham gives ‘em the old stink eye. Defensively, they only lose 2 starters.

"I swear I can fit this much in my mouth"

Yeah, they made a bowl, but they got beat by anyone that has a pulse. Christ, we’re actually getting informative here…

Against ISU: The Clones are 2-1 against the Huskies, with the Huskie’s lone win coming in 2003 against arguably the greatest squad in Iowa State history, which was headed by the unstoppable 3 Headed quarterbacking monster of Austin Flynn, Cris Love (RIP), and Waye Terry. Obviously this was the greatest day in NIU history, and the streets of DeKalb erupted into uncontrollable riots. The most recent match up was one of the more interesting games in Jack Trice, as Austin Flynn relieved Bret Meyer to instigate a ferocious ISU comeback. Certainly, none of us can forget Matt "Robo"‘ Robertson’s game sealing pick 6, wherein he proceeded to eat the football as celebration.