Disclaimer: Picks are not guaranteed. In fact, you will lose money with our picks.
Last week 4-6 (9-10 overall)
Week 3, we start to get into the meat & potatos college football. It's time for us to put our "Big Boy Pads On." So don't be a pansy and not bet on games...ClonesJer...there's money to made! Here are the WRNL picks of the week.
1. Arkansas +7 @ Alabama
Now the stereotypical thing to say is that both of these teams fanbases are a bunch of uneducated rednecks that think you have a pretty mouth. So I wont say that...even though its true, that's why its a stereotype. To the game: Ryan Mallet's Heisman might be on the line with this game, along with Alabama's National Championship hopes. Look for Mallet to live up the hype but not be able to get the job done. Take ARKANSAS to cover the spread.
2. Stanford @ +4 ½ Notre Dame
Who wants to mess up some smart kids? In my wet dreams the Cast of Good Will Hunting would be real. They would travel to South Bend. They then would sneak into the student section that has both Standford & Notre Dame fans and start beating the crap out of them like they did Carmine on the playground. How ya like them apples. Take the Irish FTW and to cover.
3. UCLA @ -16 Texas
Continuing on with my wet dream... After Will and his crew leave South Bend I would magically become the stud QB at either one of these schools. Can you even imagine? Seriously, Colt McCoy looked like an hairless Ewok on steroids and still pulled some major tail. I'm sure the girls would tell you he's a really nice guy yeah right $$$$ and there's the alarm clock dream over. Texas rolls BIG on the inconsistent Bruins.
4. Kentucky +14 @ Florida
Tim Tebow is gone from Florida and is now seated at the right hand of the Father. Wait he's not, but Tebus as they call him in Florida did pick up twitter recently and tweeted his support for JB who has be John Brantley. Either that or Tim has found WRNL's old friend Jim Beam while collecting dollar bills on the sidelines. Whats this have to do with the game? NOTHING! Kentucky covers the spread.
5. Oregon State @ -17 ½ Boise State
First off we'd like to thank Oregon State University for giving us a little "Charlie work" we enjoyed spray painting your practice field. We here at WRNL are always looking for a reason to buy 10,000 cans of spray paint, even if it means traveling cross-country for little to no money. To bad it won't help the Beavers, BSU runs up the score wins by 24.
6. South Carolina @ -3 Auburn
I hate these two teams equally, I hate how South Carolina is always trying to tell the world that they were USC before USC was even a school. Whoop-de-freaking-do, if Steve Spurrier hadn't grifted a membership to Augusta National nobody would even know you had a football team. Then you have Auburn with "War Eagle" who play "On-the-Plains" with a tiger as mascot. None of this makes any sense what so ever. I hope this game is a brutal as Auburn's last. Auburn wins by a touchdown.
7. West Virginia @ -10 Louisiana State (LSU)
Its a night game in Death Valley for WVU, good luck. I've never been to LSU for a night game but I can only imagine. Pulls of moonshine starting at 7a.m. followed but some-kind of gumbo for lunch, more moonshine, power nap with cousin LaRae, more moonshine, then more moonshine. I bet these people are really happy that DVR's were invented because I'd be too blasted from all the moonshine to remember the game. LSU covers wins by 2 TD's
8. Cal +6 ½ @ Arizona
Congrats Arizona not only did you send the Hawkeye National Championship hopes down the toliet they also hurt their feelings. Iowa fans showed they could pout with the best 5 year-old when they started complaining about being taunted and seeing obscene gestures. This week Arizona will face Cal and the Bears fans are pretty much numb to all taunts and gestures, save peace signs, because they are all a bunch of happy stoners more likely to hug you than fight back. Look for Cal to pull off the upset.
9. Oregon -11 ½ @ Arizona State
Do yourself a favor and do a google image search of either one these schools. It'll make you rethink ever living in the Midwest. When does the girls of the Pac-10 Playboy issue come out and who can even watch football with this hot piece walking around the sidelines. Anyway, Oregon continues to blow teams out. Oregon all the way.
The "BET YOUR HOUSE" Pick of the week: (0-2)
So we're not doing so hot with this 5 star lock of the week thing. By now you've taken a job at some crappy club where you pick up beer bottles and the skanky waitresses hit on you and try to get you drunk so you sleep with them. You're so broke you let the gay guys pay you 2 dollars to look at your schlong and 5 to watch you jerk it. Wait a minute this is awesome!
10. Oklahoma -13 @ Cincinnati
I'll cut to the chase on for this game. Oklahoma is coming off a close call at home and going on their first road game of the year. Cincinnati is trying to stay relative after Brian Kelly left them high and dry. Oklahoma will win this game big for one reason...sacks. Cincinnati is giving up the most sacks per game out of any Div-1 team. Look for Oklahoma to have the ball early and often, plus they'll be playing a short field. Oklahoma BIG!