As my good friend Kanye West once said... 
"Yeah, you know what this is
It's a celebration, bitches!
Grab a drink, grab a glass
After that I grab yo ass"
That line of Kanye's perfectly summarized my night last night as Iowa State tore Texas Tech apart. There was a lot of celebratory drinks including some Templeton Rye, which I might add is still the smoothest whiskey on this planet. There were a lot of high fives, low fives, jumping around and, yes, even some man on man ass grabbing. Oh and some Tebowing.
Finally, I get to write a meaningful helmet stickers and be excited about it. There were too many weeks in a row there where I couldn't care less about awarding a virtual sticker to a player on a team that just got obliterated. Those days are over now aren't they Tubby Tommy? We straight bitch slapped the red raiders last night. It got so bad their fans had no reason to use their patented "guns up" hand signal except to put it to their temple and pull the proverbial trigger.
Let's take a look at some fun "stats" shall we?
- Last nights victory marks the second year in a row Iowa State has beaten Tech and the first win in Lubbock ever.
- Iowa State scored 21 points in the first quarter against Texas Tech.
- Iowa State, prior to this game, had scored 17 first quarter points THE ENTIRE SEASON!!
- Iowa State totaled 78 more rushing yards than Texas Tech had in total yardage
- This is the largest margin of victory by an Iowa State team over a ranked opponent in school history
IOWA STATE @ TEXAS TECH - OCTOBER 29TH 6:00 PM
FINAL SCORE: IOWA STATE (4-4, 1-4) 41 TEXAS TECH (5-3, 2-3) 7
OFFENSIVE WRNL HELMET STICKER:
Duran "Duck" Hollis & James White, RB - Quack Quack Quack Quack....Mahatma, he Gandhi. In normal people speak, that's "Duran Hollis, he gone!" I had to spend the extra nickel and buy an extra helmet sticker for this week since both running backs deserved one. I'll just write it off come tax time so don't worry about my financial well-being. I was damn near praying that James White would get into the endzone last night. His numbers were just too good not to put the D in the P. The fantastic team rushing 
performance (394 total rushing yards) was all highlighted by Duck Hollis' 71 yard TD run. In all, we had three players rush for over 100 yards if you don't count sacks (Jared Barnett, Duran Hollis, and James White). Individual statistics for the two running backs: James White ran the ball 31 times for 138 yards and of course that touchdown. Duck Hollis rushed a mere 4 times but racked up 101 yards, also with a touchdown. Standing ovation gentlemen.
DEFENSIVE WRNL HELMET STICKER:
Ter'ran Benton, DB - SO CLOSE!!!! Ter'ran was just that, so close, to getting into the endzone after an 
interception of Texas Tech QB, Seth Doege. It ended up in the stat log as 40 yard interception return that got him down to the 1 or 2 yardline, however he actually ran almost 100 yards as he ran from one side of the field to the other trying to reach paydirt. Benton ended the game with 3 solo tackles and that interception. I noticed quite the oddity as I was looking through defensive statistics this morning. As a team, Iowa State only had 43 tackles and only 2 of those were assisted. Another oddity, not one single player amassed double digit tackles. Those numbers are abnormally low for an Iowa State team. This is an excellent stat. It means we forced a lot of 3 and outs, forced turnovers, and controlled the ball on offense while keeping their offense off the field. Never thought we'd be able to say that while facing a Texas Tech team who's known for their rampant and quick paced offensive attack.
WRNL EDITORS PICK HELMET STICKER:
Offensive Line - These guys are the core of this offense and the reason the Cyclones were able to put up 512 yards of total offense and 41 points. I saw a very comfortable unit that dominated the Tech d-line. The run blocking was especially superb, making holes even I could find and run through. Pass blocking wasn't bad either, only giving up one sack all night and giving freshman QB, Jared Barnett, enough time to make some good decisions. The Texas Tech defense was able to apply some pressure at times which forced Barnett out of the pocket often but with his elusiveness, that pressure almost worked to Iowa State's advantage. I hope this is a sign of things to come, being as this is a young unit. Keep up the good work you big uglies.
Jansen Watson, DB - Honorable mention goes to defensive back and special teams man Jansen Watson. Seriously kid, you were all over the field on kickoff coverage last night and I think you deserve some respect for it. Not much else to say other than you had one gutty performance last night.
COMMEMORATIVE GENE CHIZIK COIN:
Cqulin Hubert - Ahhh we meet again Cqulin (Cue-Lin). You once were an Iowa State commit and then 
you bitched out and chose Lubbock over Ames...how foolish you are. Then there was this post on your twitter feed yesterday before the game. This undoubtedly has you feeling pretty dumb so you decide to be a Richard Head and unnecessarily hit Jared Barnett in helmet to helmet fashion. No worries though man, Jared just took a short nap, bounced back up, came back in the game, and proceeded to bury you and your precious red raiders. Take this chizik coin and use it as a reminder of what could have been. It's no surprise that since you arrived in Lubbock, Texas Tech is 0-2 against the Cyclones.