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Hoiberg Supersizes Coaching Staff

Ronald McDonaldRonald McDonald
Fresh off of losing assistant Elwyn McRoy, Coach Fred Hoiberg made a splash in hiring a replacement in Ronald McDonald. McDonald, 48, becomes the new lead recruiter at Iowa State, as he has a direct pipeline to McDonald's All-American players, trumping the well established practice of hiring AAU coaches to develop relationships with recruits.

Hoiberg released the following statement about the hire: "We are pleased to announce the addition of Ronald McDonald to our staff. He embodies the spirit of giving back to the community, and his experience as the 'Chief Happiness Officer' at McDonald's will bring hope to our fans after a good, but ultimately disappointing year. His recruiting expertise and McDonald's connections allow him to offer Happy Meals to recruits, even during dead periods."

Athletic Director Jamie Pollard added: "We've heard Iowa fans call us CyClowns for years. Instead of fighting it by putting up billboards near Iowa City, we've just decided to include it in our promotions, and hiring Coach McDonald is the first step in doing so. Iowa fans sure won't be laughing when we bring in the entire McDonald's All-American class every year."

We can only wonder if Ronald will spurn his usual costume for a black suit when he is roaming the sidelines next season.