July 23rd, 2011 11:00 AM
Big Ten Conference Headquarters
Delaney: Welcome gentlemen. Thank you for taking the time to visit with me about your proposed rivalry.
Iowa: (approaches Nebraska) Hello Legend.
Nebraska: Hello to you to, fellow Legend.
Iowa: That's so awesome...
Nebraska: I know, drink it up big guy.
Delaney: Easy fellas, let's keep this meeting strictly business.
Iowa: I'm not sure if you guys knew this, but I've won several co-conference championships. That's equivalent to around 3 National Championships. Just wanted to throw that out there.
Nebraska: You're so awesome...
Nebraska: Hey, do you know much about this Ohio State guy? What sort of things does he like to do?
Iowa: Meh, he and I have never been that close. Always seems like he never has time for me. (awkward silence)
Iowa: Vandenberg!? You ever heard of him? He's gonna be good...like Heisman good. Well, until we decide the backup's better.
Nebraska: Yeah, sounds neat. Do you know if Michigan or Wisconsin hang out around here? Are they into Mexican food? I could have my man T-Magic whip 'em up something muy bueno.
Delaney: Let's get back on topic here folks....about this rivalry game...
Iowa: I have 1 word for you Nebraska ... Legend.
Nebraska: Legend Legend Legend.
Iowa: God damn that makes my penis tingle just hearing you say that!
Nebraska: You know what else you are? You're a hero!
Iowa: A what?
Nebraska: A HERO!!
Iowa: Ho. Ly. Fuck! (Shudders through orgasm)
Iowa: OMG, I've got it! We should call the game that!
Iowa: The Heroes Game!
Nebraska: Heroes? Like Thunder Collins and Lawrence Phillips!
Iowa: Yeah, exactly, and I got that Nile Kinnick guy. You and me Legend, you and me forever!(raises hand for high-five)
Nebraska: (blatantly disregards high-five gesture) Forever? Alright champ, lets do it!
Delaney: So it shall be. A trophy will be constructed and coined the greatest trophy ever made, and it will be named the Heroes Trophy, because that's exactly what you two teams represent...Heroes. God Damn American Heroes! God Bless the both of you and this monumental game between you. It shall be the greatest game ever played.
Iowa: Is it normal to keep cumming like this? I'm getting these shakes and feeling kind of dizzy.
Delaney: Now, I'd also like your input on the Conference Championship game. What do you think we should call it?
Nebraska: I think we should probably conference in Badge and Buck. That's what I call 'em...you know cause we're tight like that.
Nebraska: (whispers to Delaney) In fact, do you really want him here for this? (points to Iowa)
Iowa: (loudly screams) OMG OMG OMG!! We're Heroes!!
Nebraska: (pats Iowa on the back) We are!...now why don't you go tell the rest of the fellas. You...Legend...you.
Iowa: (walking away talking to himself) and Hero, don't forget Hero. (fading off) Hero-Legend....Hegend Lero!!