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Lattimer Forecast: July 2011

It has come to our attention recently that members of the Cyclone fanbase have been inquiring into the current status of the Latt. Thus, it's only proper that we update our intrepid readers as to the current Lattimer Forecast for their respective areas. For a more thorough explanation of each warning stage, please consult the Advanced Lattimer Alert System manual.

Iowa City: Elevated. Iowa City, this is as low as it gets for you. With the game in Ames this year, the Latt is waiting for you.

Des Moines: General. Due to his love of smoked animal flesh, Des Moines has fallen into a state of general favor with the Latt. Jethro's pleases him greatly. But don't get cocky about it, Des Moines.

Ames: Low. With football practice around the corner, the Latt is slumbering, preparing for his feast of walk-ons and incoming freshmen.

Sioux City: High. The Latt has a low tolerance for both White Trash and natural disasters. Begin preparation immediately.

Smithville, TN: Severe. One of your residents has questioned the Latt. May God have mercy on your unwashed souls. It. Is. Too. Late.