It's a simple number really, divisible by five, unassuming and non-prime. The Iowa State Cyclones are ranked for the first time in 7 years in the Coaches Poll and that seems rather fantastic. But what does it all mean? Well, it is a damn bit better than 26, that’s for sure, but how are we to feel about 25? Is this 12 o'clock awesome or just mild K-mart underwear section arousal? WRNL takes a look at other things that are arbitrarily labeled as the 25th best in their respective categories:
25th Richest Person in the World
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud: Worth an estimated $18 billion (with a "b") he's most noted for attempting to donate to NYC after the 9/11 attacks and having his check rejected based on questionable comments he made regarding the bombings. We're not off to a good start.
25th Fattest State
Maine: Technically tied with N Dakota, Maine wins by alphabetical ordering. Being 25 out of 50 really isn't good or bad, which sums up most people’s feelings on Maine in general.
25th Smartest Dog
The Pembroke Welsh Corgi: I gotta be honest, I didn't even know this dog existed (insert easy jab at Iowa State here). He's not going to finish your Chemistry homework, but he probably knows not to shit on the rug either - very similar to a KState grad. They are the dog of choice of the Queen of England, because nothing says royalty like the
in-bred purebred canine equivalent of a C- student.
25th Largest US City
Nashville, Tennessee: Nashville is famous for country music and being the city the guys off American Pickers choose to open their second location. Hey, it’s a good show assholes.
25th Best Job
HR Specialist: The theory from the article on USNews.com, is that the job is low stress for a decent wage. Plus, based on my unofficial survey of only people I've met, 3 out of 5 HR people are attractive females. Basically, completely the opposite of writing articles for WRNL.
25th Smallest Country in the World
South Africa: Prince Edward Island is even included and South Africa still only measures a puny 0.82% of the world's available landmass. (scoff, scoff) They do have giant great white sharks that leap out of the water in vain attempts to get their faces on Shark Week. So there’s that.
So what did we learn from all of this? Nothing, which seems somehow fitting.