Second in a ten-part series. See WRNL PAC's first ad here.
Hello again, friends. Whoo! What a whirlwhind this campaign has been so far! Lots of babies to kiss, lots of hands to shake, all in the name of getting people to buy into the Cyclone philosophy. The CYlosophy, if you will. And to be honest, it is hard! Much harder than we expected! It seems that fans of other Big XII teams aren't that willing to drop their current allegiances and hop on the Iowa State bandwagon. Even though we asked really politely. We even made an ad!
But onward and upward! We knew that we were in for a fight when we started this campaign, and we remain undaunted. Still, working with the smallest athletic budget in the Big XII independently raised funds from WRNL PAC with absolutely no input from Iowa State University whatsoever is more of a challenge than we initially thought.
So it occurs to us that perhaps we've been too positive. Too focused on the good things that ISU can do for the Big XII, and not the cowardly, un-American activities of our rivals. To rectify that, WRNL PAC has an explosive story that needs to be told.
Baylor University accepted TARP.
Now, you may be thinking, "What's so bad about TARP? Didn't TARP cover up an embarrassing problem at a troubled institution and allow it to rebound and reach the place it is today?"
Not the Troubled Asset Relief Program, the government program used to kick-start Wall Street during the 2008 financial meltdown. No, that would be understandable. We mean the end zone TARP. The TARP of shame.
Do we really want a Big XII champion that can't even fill its own stadium? A champion that has to cover empty seats in the end zone with a giant tarp? That's not the Big XII we grew up with. Iowa State has had to oversell its stadium for years, forcing fans to stand on hillsides just to get a glimpse of the team they love. And in that time Iowa State hasn't exactly been worldbeaters. Can you imagine the crowds at Jack Trice if the Cyclones had a Heisman winner playing on the team?
And Baylor won't even release its athletic budget to the public. Just what are they hiding? Does Baylor have a secret slush fund that Art Briles and Scott Drew use to hire hookers to sex up potential recruits? Did Baylor purchase and distribute the illicit substances used in TCU's drug-crazed rampage through the Mountain West last year? Did university president Kenneth Starr purchase all remaining copies of the Starr Report and use them to fuel his all-night masturbation sessions? We don't know! We're just asking questions here!
But what doesn't need to be questioned is Baylor's acceptance of TARP. And if Baylor can't fill their stands when they have a Heisman winner leading them to their best season in decades, how will they be able to represent the Big XII as champions? The Big XII deserves better. The Big XII deserves a team with fans that blindly support it, no matter how terrible they are in a given year. The Big XII deserves Iowa State as their 2012 champions.