All hail Iowa Corn Growers Association! In triumph for democracy and freedom, Cyclone and Hawkeye fans unite to choose new trophy to represent epic rivalry. Fans of football thrill at sublime depiction of Cy-Hawk game!
Glorious trophy depicts venerable mascots Cy and Herky standing in field of nutritious, patriotic corn, lifting football high for all to see. Marvel at the excellent models of superior mascots Cy and Herky! Remember proud history and forefathers with engraved scores of past games on trophy base! Gratefully recognize that schools located in state where hearty, wholesome crop grows in such abundance!
Eat more corn, please!
Trophy chosen by humble, hard-working people of Iowa. Landslide vote recorded! Winning trophy received over 77% of vote! Record support for new trophy from people's champion, Iowa Corn Growers Association! Lopsided victory in no way corrupted or influenced by ICGA, indicates fans love new trophy. Resounding defeat for other trophies means they will be put in dark place; never to be spoken of again.
All good people of Iowa remember old Cy-Hawk trophy. Dull, uninspired, ugly. Not fit for grandiose contest like Cy-Hawk series. Cyclone and Hawkeye fans labor for many years under crushing oppression of old trophy. But Iowa Corn Growers Association has liberated fans! Bold vision and leadership has given Iowa the trophy it deserves!
But there are still dissidents. Opponents of revolution. Cowards who hide in shadows, trying to upset new order. People who say things like, "Old trophy fine. Why do we need new trophy?"
OLD TROPHY NOT FINE! OLD TROPHY MOCKERY OF ALL IOWA STATE AND IOWA UNIVERSITIES STAND FOR! NO CY! NO HERKY! NO CORN ANYWHERE ON TROPHY!
Did you know that corn is America's number one field crop?
It's true! What's good for corn is good for Iowa! What's good for Iowa is good for Cyclone and Hawkeye fans! All praise Iowa Corn Growers Association for putting corn on football trophy as needed!
Next Cy-Hawk game to be held September 8, 2012 in people's republic of Iowa City. Cyclones and Hawkeyes will fight for honor to hold new trophy in arms. All will see contest and see majesty that ICGA makes possible! All will rejoice when victor presents trophy to crowd!
All hail victory for democracy!
All hail Cyclones! All hail Hawkeyes!
All hail Iowa Corn Growers Association!