Hello again, America! WRNL PAC is back with another dispatch from the heart of Big XII country. It's been awhile since we last updated you on the progress of our bus tour, but have no fear! After a few bumps along the road, WRNL PAC is back in the driver's seat.
Actually, to be more accurate; WRNL PAC is now in the passengers seat. Seems like the citizens of Manhattan, Kansas didn't take too kindly to our
propaganda and brain-washing information providing session in their town last month. Quick tip, Manhattan residents: Setting a bus on fire is never appreciated. And I'm pretty sure it's illegal.
But no matter! WRNL PAC rolls on undaunted! And by roll on, I mean depend on the kindness of strangers. Because we are now hitchhiking to each university town in the Big XII. That's right; we're meeting the fine folks in Big XII country up close and personal! Only way to see the country. It's only a matter of time before Kris Kristofferson writes a song about our travels.
In fact, we just pulled into Stillwater, Oklahoma, home to the Oklahoma State Cowboys. And that's important, because Oklahoma State just had their best season in approximately ever last year. But let me tell you something, that 2011 Big XII championship came with a price. Oklahoma State's soul.
Because that is a dirty trophy, friends. Bought and paid for by Big Oil; a bunch of millionaires who think they can buy and sell us like so much chattel. Well, the Big XII is NOT chattel. We're free schools, owned by no individual other than the students.
And the alumni.
And the taxpayers of our respective states.
And large corporations who give millions in research money. And you should probably add the United States government to that list, too. But NOT, repeat NOT, shady billionaires. Nosir! The schools in the Big XII are better than that!
This is the Big XII, comrades! We're hearty, Midwestern stock! Schools that scrapped their way to their current positions with the sweat on their brow and the skin off their back. We EARNED this conference. The Big XII is for the workers, not the bourgeoisie or the parasites at the top of the food chain! WE control the means of production!
And we must keep our conference pure! Sure, the Big XII has suffered some setbacks recently. Some traitors to the cause that shall remain nameless have left our hallowed organization. But that's all the more reason to make sure that our 2012 conference champion is the best the Big XII has to offer. A school that is uncorrupted by such tawdry matters as "money" and "power."
A school like Iowa State is the perfect 2012 Big XII champion. The Cyclones stand for all the values that the Big XII holds dear. Honesty. Humbleness. Hardiness. Uhhh... Hard-workinitude. That's Iowa State's version of the 4-H club.
What's in Oklahoma State's 4-H club? Hate. Hunger. Hostility. Hypocrisy. That's not the type of school that should represent the Big XII.
Brothers! Rally to me! We must beat back the nefarious, profiteering influence that Oklahoma State brings! Keep the Big XII a conference for the schools, by the schools! Don't let T. Boone Pickens and his ilk try to buy another championship!
This year, the Big XII championship should be decided on the field. Not in smoke-filled back rooms where wealthy men buy influence and flex their muscle. T. Boone Pickens can have his billions of dollars. Leave the Big XII for the fans. Leave the Big XII for Iowa state.
***Paid for by WRNL PAC, a 501(c)3 organization***