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Tulsa Tailgate: What to Expect

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via Iowa State Daily
via Iowa State Daily

Well football fans, the season is finally here. On Thursday night, a number of college football teams will kickoff their season under the lights, officially starting the 2012 college football season. And the beginning of the season means one thing my friends, tailgating.

Now I know most of you are seasoned veterans in the back end of cars (HEY-OO), but its been a full 8 months since Iowa State played a football game and almost 10 months since ISU has had a home tailgate at Jack Trice Stadium. And with that in mind, we at WRNL felt the need to prepare everyone with a friendly reminder of what to expect down in the lots.

Get you full Tulsa tailgate preview after the jump. (NSFW)

5.) Tailgating Games

Let the games begin! And I know the standard cornhole, hick golf, or flip cup is a fan favorite, but I suggest the lesser-known competitions. American pastimes such as Louisville Chugger, Suck the Dick, or my personal favorite; SLAP THE SACK! And just so you know folks, a 60 second chug of box of wine gets up dog humping drunk.

4.) Someone, somewhere will be partying with a stuffed animal

Now let me just say, that the odds of you finding this group of persons in 60,000 tailgaters is low, but this is like the legend of Chupacabra; it does exist. Anything from a full sized stuffed black bear rocking a sombrero and a poncho in the back of someone’s truck or a woodchuck wearing a cheerleaders outfit while sitting on top of a flagpole can be found in the grass lots. And if you are lucky enough to find the crazy, drunken taxidermy tailgate, cherish it. You may never be that lucky again.

3.) Rednecks in a jacked up vehicle

The hardcore tailgaters know the value in a good tailgating vehicle. Whether it is a Ghostbusters themed ambulance or a Free Candy Van, these vehicles add a special flare to any tailgate. Just be sure to cheer loudly and finish your drink when the antique Oliver tractor starts blowing black smoke before kickoff. And yes, I've seen that in the lots before.

2.) A drunk pick up football game…. with the cops

A fine line to walk for sure, but there is nothing better than scoring a touchdown using a wheel route on the cop who just gave you a MIP at the last tailgate. Just be sure to read the defense and call out the MIKE linebacker. The switch in zone to man coverage will kill ya. I suggest more study in the film room.

1.) WIN OR LOSE, WE STILL BOOZE

At the end of the day, it’s only a game. Sure it’s only the most important game ever played in the history of mankind, but don’t let a loss ruin your tailgate. Power through the disappointment with grain alcohol and the closest wet hole companion you can find.

And if you wake up in the front yard of a church in Boone the next morning, just consider your tailgate a success.