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The Mid-Morning Dump - 4/26/13

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WORST SATIRE EVER. Through tweets, I've managed to gather that the author's intent was satire, but this Iowa State Daily article really is the worst attempt at satire I've ever seen, and WRNL is like.. the king of crappy satire.

KNOTT'S IMPRESSED BY LBS. Jeremiah George and Luke Knott are drawing good reviews from the departed Jake Knott.

ROYCE IS STILL UNSURE. Royce seems confident even amidst an uncertain future in the NBA.

ROYCE INSPIRES. White's speech about mental health awareness inspired Ruth Ann Gaines to reveal her own issues.

DRAKE RELAYS FIRST. The ISU women's 4x1600 team took home the title at the Drake Relays.

#MACTION. The MAC put out the first overall pick for the first time ever, as part of an offensive lineman dominated day, and here's Brent Blum with a sad stat.

OTHER THINGS AT THE NFL DRAFT. There was almost a fight at the draft, Ziggy Ansah tried to show off his budget hipster ways by wearing broken 3D glasses to the podium, the Buffalo Bills are good at smokescreens (but not at football), and Manti Te'o spoke more about Lennay Kekua while waiting to (not) be selected.

CORY JEFFERSON IS BACK. The Baylor PF is back for his senior season.

FOUR GOALIES FIGHTING! I've seen two goalies duke it out before, but even the backups are brawling in this hockey fight.

AT LEAST THEIR ROAD CREWS WORK FAST? A Norwegian soccer team came back from the offseason to see a road extending into their pitch. Extra hilarious since it looks like the road could have easily been built 10 feet to the side.