The Big 12's Dreamiest Coach

Recently the WRNL Mid-Morning Dump featured an article by SBN Kansas State site “Bring on the Cats” that tore apart the notion that Kansas Jayhawk coach Charile Weis is in any way comparable to the Kansas State Wildcat Evil Wizard Bill Snyder. That they both put emphasis on JUCO recruiting was undeniable, but BOTC wanted it well known that’s where the comparison stops and ends and further discussion is ridiculousness.

It was good stuff. I found the article oddly familiar and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at the time, but I was strangely, acutely aware of the author’s plea for some sanity in the masses of talking heads. Then it hit me – this is exactly how I feel when the unrefined preach the gospel of newly appointed Texas Tech coach Kliff Kingsbury and his boyish good looks. It’s crap. The crown of the Big 12 Mountain of Coaching Dreaminess is and always has been ISU Basketball Coach Fred Hoiberg, and it isn’t even close.

Kliff is the Charlie Weis to Fred’s Bill Snyder. To prove this point I’ll interview myself:

“But isn’t it football season?” – Yes, it is, but that doesn’t matter. Besides, Fred had a standing offer to play QB for Nebraska out of high school. That was pre-Callahan Nebraska, not the present day, pillow fight of a Nebraska Light.

"Did Kliff have an offer to play basketball somewhere?" - Maybe, I really have no idea. We’ll call this point for Fred.

“Can’t we just call it a tie?” – No, totally unacceptable. Like the Weis comparison to KSU’s legendary coach, the thought is downright offensive to the senses. I’ll admit, 99% of our wives, girlfriends, sisters, & mothers would leave our asses for either one of them in a heartbeat – and I completely understand their reasoning. But Fred’s been doing this for a long time, Kliff’s barely out of his panty-dropping diapers. Point Fred.

“Ok, so what makes Fred so great?” - I’m guessing you mean other than his ability to make most mortals swoon with a single glance of his smokey gaze? Ask me a few more leading questions …

“So he was a solid basketball player?” – His jersey hangs in the Hilton rafters, he played 10 seasons in the NBA leading the league in 3-pt % his final season. Oh, and he did it with a bad heart. Three seasons ago he took over a Cyclone team that had been driven into ground and with no coaching experience to draw from took only a single season to return to the field of 64 … or 64-ish anyway. Home attendance has spiked under his tenure, only partly due to actual success on the court.

“But can he golf?” Fred has recorded a hole-in-one and a double eagle this summer alone. A double what you say? A double eagle, a 2 on a par 5, it’s about as rare as seeing actual 2-headed eagle flying around your apartment. That’s 10 lifetimes worth of luck for the rest of us. And golf is only his 4th favorite sport behind basketball, football, & dreamy gaze casting.

"Can I randomly ask you about free throws?” – Funny you should ask, last year Hoiberg won the Shots from the Heart challenge by sinking 286 of 287 FTs. He shot at least 10 of them with a practice schedule in his hand.

“Have you researched Kliff at all?” – No. I’m not sure how that’s relevant.

"Wow short answer, so is this the point where you wrap this up with some sort of conclusion?"

"Hello....?"

"Asshole."