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I may be in the minority here, but I really hate Halloween. Especially when you trick or treat anywhere outside of Central Iowa. Growing up in one of the small commuter communities south of Des Moines, I would spend the night before Halloween (Beggar's Night) the same as all the other kids around my age; dressed up in some ridiculously unsafe plastic costume, complete with a plastic mask you could neither see nor breath out of, walking around the neighborhood ringing doorbells in search of candy. This part is no different today as it was back then, except perhaps the costumes have actually become cheaper while costing parents more. What I don't like about our current local customs, which apparently are the customs almost everywhere else except Central Iowa, is you don't have to work for your candy.
It's simple and is even predicated by the phrase "Trick or Treat". Tell me a joke, I'll give you some candy. I would save up my Bazooka Joe wrappers for weeks leading up to this night to be sure to have ample jokes to pull from. I hated using the same material twice if I could avoid it.
Out here? Apparently not the same. Here is a typical Halloween encounter in Southern Nevada.
*Doorbell rings, which just happens to be the Iowa State Fight Song. I let it play through completion.
Open Door wearing a Hawkeye shirt. The scariest funniest thing I can think of.
Kid(s): "Trick or Treat" (This only occurs if you're lucky, otherwise it is just some Yoda looking freak dressed up as a child dressed up as Raggady Andy holding his cheap plastic pumpkin forward with a demanding demeanor while his/her parent waits protectively by the street)
Me: "Hello. What are you supposed to be?"
Kid(s): "Trick or Treat"
Me: "Do you have a joke"
Kid(s): "Listen, asshole. Just give me candy and let me move on"
Me: "Sure thing. Here's your pencil you little shit"
Close door
Repeat
And, while I'm ranting; Parents, when the porch light is off, don't knock on the door. It means I'm either not home, out of candy or don't want to deal with your little begging bastard to begin with.
Anyway, let's take a look at some football.
Week 9 Results
Texas 0 - Kansas State 23
Bet Over 48.5/$22 (L)
Cash $0
Where the hell was this Swoopes the previous week?
West Virginia 34 - Oklahoma State 10
Bet WVU +1/$110 (W)
Cash $210
Like taking candy from a baby.
Texas Tech 27 - TCU 82
Bet TCU -23/$110 (W)
Cash $210
Like beating a baby with candy.
Best of the Rest
South Carolina 35 - Auburn 42
Auburn -19 (L)
So close to chaos. Of course this would probably only elevate those ‘Cocks into the top 5 instead of dropping the Tigers out of it.
Memphis 48 - SMU 10
Memphis -23
At least you didn't disappoint me, SMU. You never do.
LSU 10 - Mississippi 7
Ol Miss -3.5 (L)
Ol' Miss loses the game, but not their spot in the playoff, because... Well, actually I have no idea why.
Week 9 Profit: $ 178.00
Current Bank: $ 1103.00
Season Profit: $ 603.00
To the Games:
Oklahoma @ Iowa State - Saturday, November 1st @ 11:00 AM - FS1
Line - ISU +16.5
O/U 63
I hate this game and wish it fell on a weekend where I was unable to watch due to prior engagements. I know, free will and what not, but if the Cyclones are playing on TV and I have the ability to watch, I'll watch. I'm masochistic that way. I have little actual optimism concerning the outcome of the game and the widely reported history of the series supports me.
To add insult to their inevitable victory, while the Sooners are literally and metaphorically running up and down the field, the television producer will undoubtedly have their microphones pointed in the direction of the Oklahoma travelling band ensuring my ears also get assaulted with the incessant bleating of Boomer Sooner. That could be one of the most annoying songs ever penned and I'm not sure the crimson and cream actually know any other tunes.
All in all, I expect misery to be the word of the day, but I'd rather lose money in faithful support on my team than win betting on the enemy.
My Bet - ISU +16.5/$11
TCU @ West Virginia - Saturday, November 1st @ 2:30 PM - ABC
Line - TCU -5.5
O/U 73.5
Who would have thought last year this matchup would be the Big XII's Week 10 marquee matchup, with Morgantown even hosting the crew from ESPN Gameday? And yet, here we are. TCU is coming off the most prolific offensive outpouring of points ever, expending its entire reserve of celebratory fireworks in the process. West Virginia is fresh off a decisive victory in Stillwater and a beatdown of Baylor two weeks previous. Both teams can play defense, too it appears, as each held the potentially explosive Cowboys to season lows 9 & 10 points respectively. Color me impressed.
I am still waiting for a late season collapse out of one of these two teams and I think this is the game that sets that in motion for whomever falls Saturday afternoon. Since I believe TCU is the team that will represent the Big XII in the National Championship game, that leaves the Mountaineers the odd man out. Hopefully, this game will live up to the hype.
My Bet - TCU -5.5/$55
Kansas @ Baylor - Saturday, November 1st @ 3:00 PM - FS1
Line - Baylor -36
O/U 61.5
This does not look pretty for Kansas. Baylor, a team that gets little respect for its potent offense and weak non-con schedule, debuted at number 13 in the first ever Playoff Rankings. Oregon, a similar team with a similar loss, is just outside the Top 4. The only way Baylor continues to climb up this one is to win out in dominating fashion. They still have Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and K-State on their schedule, so there is certainly room to impress.
This has me questioning how this O/U is so incredibly low. It is completely likely that Baylor vents their frustrations in the safe confines of Art Briles Stadium (totally a prediction of future events) on a very overmatched opponent to easily cover this line on their own. If Bryce Petty can rip off 71 points against the Cyclones last season, I see no reason why he can't better that effort against the Jayhawks. Ubben, over at Fox, has the Bears putting up 98 on Kansas. Oh, and apparently Baylor is doing Touchdowns for Jesus or something like that this weekend so, yeah.
Poor Kansas. Try to keep your heads up, mmm-kay.
My Bet - Over 61.5/$110
Texas @ Texas Tech - Saturday, November 1st @ 6:30 PM - FS1
Line - Texas -15.5
O/U 48.5
I am really not sure what happened here, but TTU opened the week as 24.5 point favorites. Now, they are 15.5 point underdogs with a lot of casinos having the game off the board. That is a HUGE swing in points, but aside from that; Tech was a 3+ touchdown favorite to someone not named Kansas?
Looking past the confusing point spread, WTF was up with Tyrone Swoopes last week against Kansas State and where was that quarterback the previous weekend against Iowa State? I have never, outside of a Steele Jantz led offense, seen such a deterioration in confidence and skill in such a short time span. I understand K-State's defense is good to superior, but I felt like there was an imposter wearing number 18's jersey. Either that, or it was actually Vince Young who suited up to relive his glory days in Austin. Either way, I have empathy for you, Longhorn fans.
Texas Tech appears to have given up playing football after giving up 82 points to TCU. The poor fans don't even have basketball to look forward to, but since I don't care about TTU...
My Bet - Texas -15.5/$22
Oklahoma State @ Kansas State - Saturday, November 1st @ 7:00 PM - ABC
Line - K-State -12
O/U 51.5
Oklahoma State is reeling, having lost their last two in a row. The road doesn't get any easier this week with a trip to Purpletown to play the Snydercats.
Quickly segueing to Kansas State, their upcoming schedule includes contests with TCU, West Virginia and Baylor. All on the road. Their lone respites are this week and Nov 29th at home against instate "rival", Kansas. If they win out with this slate and get snubbed in the playoff discussion I will personally hunt down each and every member of that committee and give them a stern looking at.
K-State has lost at least one November game every year since the Snyder returned from the grave retirement in 2009 but never more than two. With the schedule that lays ahead of them, I can't image this is the game that trips up their National Championship aspirations, which let's face it, we know is coming. The only question here is are they 12 points better than OSU.
Yes. Yes they are.
My Bet - K-State -12/$55
Week 10 Upset Special
I had written something up about how Louisville was going to upset Florida State here, and trust me, it was eloquent and well laid out. Then, I realized that that game would be played on Thursday night, not Friday or Saturday. Still, I was going to leave it in to show my powers of prediction, until I looked at the score this morning.
I believe I will take this week off from any other outside predictions.
Knock Knock
Who's there
Give me Candy
Go to Hell