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Wide Right Natty Mailbag #3

I was really hoping I wouldn't have to discuss Creed vs. Nickelback, but here we are.

Still missing DeAndre.
Still missing DeAndre.
Tom Pennington

As always, send questions whenever you'd like either on Twitter by using the #WRNLMailbag hashtag, or by emailing widerightnattylite AT gmail DOT com.

Here's a question from my favorite Kansas troll on Twitter (and I mean troll in the friendliest way, as Brad appears to be a decent Jayhawk.... they exist!)

You'll have to excuse me if I'm not buying into the offense as heavily as I should given Mangino's arrival. After last summer's "OMG OUR OFFENSE AND THE PISTOL IS GOING TO NOT SUCK AND SAVE US FROM A THREE WIN SEASON" article barrage, followed by the Courtney Messingham.. well, Mess, I'm not going to buy that until I actually see them not shit their pants at home to an FCS team. And even then...

As far as "the fatman", he seems to be really enjoying his time in Ames and early reviews have been extremely positive. I know Kansas is trying to recreate the beautiful fatness in Lawrence after the failures of notable skinny person Turner Gill, hiring Charlie Weis, then Dave Campo to be his personal chef/assistant coach, but so far, to no avail.

I suppose losing to a one win Iowa State team by a 34-0 score is really when you know you've hit rock bottom, but you keep stomping on our dreamy hopes, so whatever, I hope Mangino rolls up 60 50 40 30 on you guys.

Two questions from Tracks182:

Every ISU fan is familiar with how we get jobbed in big games against big opponents. When, if ever, have we been on the receiving (benefiting) end of a screw job? It doesn't have to be a big game or big opponent, just a controversial call or no-call in a crucial point of a game we went on to win.

Of course this happens. We all remember the infamous Elijah Johnson call or the Texas fumble, but you wouldn't even have to go further back than the end of the UNC-Iowa State game for an example of Iowa State benefiting from a call. Yes, it was the right call/timing, but of course, you could argue that Tarheel Nate Britt wouldn't have even tried to call timeout if he knew the correct amount of time remaining in the game.

Another example of a bad call was KSU's Rodney McGruder probably getting fouled at the buzzer at Hilton Coliseum after a Royce White jumper to put the Cyclones ahead, but the refs swallowing their whistles.

Iowa State certainly gets the shaft a lot, but I will assert a good part of the reason why we perceive the slights as much worse is that they come when the Cyclones are in the national spotlight. The blarge against Paul Shirley was in a regional final, the Georges Niang "foul" on Elijah Johnson was on ESPN's Big Monday, and the Jeremiah George fumble recovery was the sole Thursday night game.

How do the pundits at ESPN sleep at night listing Fran McTemperTantrum higher up the list of coaches who have "Done things lately" than Scott Drew (LULZ) or Rick Barnes?

Look, nobody on the WRNL staff will defend Fran McCaffrey more than me, and despite last year's "hilarious almost to the point of being sad" collapses down the stretch, will have Iowa going places in the tournament soon enough. I also dog on Rick Barnes and Scott Drew for their limited coaching talent quite often, but to have one of those two behind Fran is insane, let alone both of them. Recruiting is part of coaching, and you only have to rewind the clock 11 years to remember a time a Baylor player MURDERED ANOTHER PLAYER.

Scott Drew is now turning out NCAA appearance after NCAA appearance and when he's not, he's beating the aforementioned Hawkeyes in the NIT. I could see the argument for Rick Barnes being dropped low before the past season, but he turned what should have been a terrible Texas teams into one that was surprisingly good, with an excellent recruiting class coming in. To be fair, it's not just the Drew/Barnes/Fran rating that's bizarre. The entire list is so bad that I give it the maximum awful rating of six Scott Drew timeouts.

Excellent question. For those who don't know, Smitty was our gracious host when we were out in Morgantown last year. He's a slightly rowdy fellow, but nothing about him screams David Irving, so he should be pretty safe. Learn from Mr. Irving though, and leave our poor traffic signs alone and go grab some grub from the gyro cart when you're wasted instead. Seriously though, for the most part, I've heard minimal complaints about Ames PD about them going out of their way to arrest people. Pretty sure a cop threw me a thumbs up when I was caught double-fisting beers outside a Campus Ave apartment at 19 instead of giving a shit, if that gives you any idea.

In summation, don't treat the Riot Bowl like an actual riot, and you'll be fine.

I'm going to be in Vegas next weekend for a bachelor party (effing eh). Is there any bets I should be making on Iowa State for a huge payout like that Auburn guy last year? I think an obvious one is national champions for Dreamy and Co., but anything for football? Can Mangino be the next Mr. Miracle or some crazy shit like that? Or Iowa State Big 12 Champs, or 0-12? Or we'll beat Oklahoma finally after 15,000 years?

- Andrew N.

First off, this email is from May 6th and I completely glossed over it in the inbox, so Andrew is probably already out a grand betting it on horse races or blowing it on hookers. I'd apologize for the lateness of this answer, but he probably already died in a glorious cloud of crack, both ass and cocaine.

In the current non-divisional format, I'd bet on Gene Chizik returning to Iowa State before I'd bet on a Big 12 football title for the Cyclones. There's just not a good way to sneak in to the championship game and pull an upset with this format. I think the best bet of what you listed is probably finally beating Oklahoma, not that it's likely to happen. We still owe Oklahoma State a favor from that one Friday night, and we beat them in basketball in heartbreaking fashion not once but twice this season. Marcus Smart's flopping and two beatdowns in football probably means they aren't owed any more karma beatdowns of Iowa State by the sports gods, but dammit if they shouldn't be allowed to laugh at their Sooner friends for losing to the Cubbies of Big 12 football. Yeah, that line hurt to write.

Of course it is. We're three months away from getting to sit outside while grilling food and drinking beer before a football game again.

Heat in 6. I think the only reason I need is LEBRON, though I'm sure the Spurs won't be quite as stupid as Lance Stephenson and the Pacers and try to needle him. It's actually somewhat amusing that NBA ticket prices are as high as they are for regular season games and the two teams in the finals are the two that purposely gave their stars a ton of games off in the regular season. But hey, if they weren't that high, Steve Ballmer's $2 billion dollar bid for the Clippers might look even more insane.


This is almost as bad as trying to pick between the Hawkeyes and the Huskers, isn't it? Personally, I'll take Nickelback any day over Creed. Don't get me wrong, Nickelback totally sucks, but I feel like a good part of the reason they're hated as much as they are is because it became uncool not to exaggerate your hate towards them. As far as musical ability goes though, I don't think it's really all that close. Then again, I'm Canadian, so maybe I'm just being an nationalistic dick about this.

The only scientific way to figure this out is to have two groups of volunteers listen to both of the bands' greatest hits and see which group organizes ritual suicide first. Any takers?