When we last left off the Hotbox was encouraging you to take your pants off for fandom. I don't have any evidence that this happened, but my heart tells me that somewhere, it was executed with precision. But congrats Cyclone Nation, ya'll looked and sounded great on Saturday. We here at WRNL are especially proud of the individuals who got the "PENIS" and "BILL PLAYS WITH HIM SELF" signs on camera for all the nation to see. Now that's what I call going ALL IN for a program. Respect.
We also managed to beat that other Kansas school this week! So as of this writing, we
technically sit on top of the Big 12! OH BOY I CAN'T WAIT TO BE CROWNED THE ONE TRUE CHAMPION! THE BIG 12 IS STILL DOING THAT RIGHT?!? But anyways, we will always have some fans who will thump their chest with pride and others who will want to act like we've been there before. I prefer to act like I'm the smartest guy in the room, so I will balance the two. Find a middle ground - for now. It is far too early to be super-duper proud of being in the lead only 5 games in. Yes, this is the best conference in the land. But there is many more games to go. But it is reasonable to get excited about the upcoming games though; @TTU, UT, TCU, and then @KU. We have a sleepy trap game against TTU, but fully expect to beat the lowly Red Raiders. And we Cyclones firmly believe in the sanctity of Hilton Coliseum so we also expect to win those at home. This then leads into a nipple-hardening game at the Phog. A game in which I will be attendance, but more on that next week.
Getting "PENIS" on camera during Gameday. So proud of you, Iowa State. pic.twitter.com/aabyOtniT8— WRNL (@WideRtNattyLt) January 17, 2015
My Box is so Hot right now:
I’m a middle aged husband and father with "better" things to do a typical Saturday than watch ESPN College Gameday. I’m in the middle of a word-working project, the weather will be nice enough to take the kids sledding, or I might go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (if there’s time…might not be time). I’ll definitely be in my Laz-e-boy at game time, but is it worth rearranging my typical Saturday schedule to watch the pre-game show from Ames when, realistically, they’ll be pimping ISU for about 5-10 minutes of the hour-long spectacle?
Me being a young, excitable, non-fathering man with no "better" things to do I woke up like a kid on Christmas morning to watch this. I missed the fact that the first hour is a taped segment. It seemed rather awkward to be honest. Not sure where they got those people to just sort of stand around Johnny's while they talked about Kentucky and Duke. I could have lived with just seeing the Georges interview. But then the REAL show came on. The crowd was big and loud and it was pretty Hoiboner inducing. Thennnn they went right back to what they were talking about in the taped segment - Kentucky and Duke. You were absolutely right. Maybe about 10 minutes were about the actual game or team. So I suspect hanging out with your kids was the right move here. But even with my cynicism, it was a great success by any measure. ESPN hasn't stopped talking about Iowa State since! Come back anytime.
How much better is ISU's defense this year?
It's better. I know that much. I don't have access to the advanced stats or brain power that KnowDan and Kirk Haaland possess, so maybe someone can enlighten us in the comments with how we stack up compared to last year. I want to say that last year we were somewhere in the 70's or 80's in defensive efficiency, while this year we have been floating around in the 50's mostly since McKay started playing (currently 59th according to Kenpom). But the thing for me that those advanced stats don't see, is how Iowa State's defense has actually won them games. When the Cyclones have needed stops late in these tight conference games, they have mostly gotten them. NICE STIFF ARM KENNY.
Is the SEZ going to have a view of Hilton past the Jacobson Building and big-ass screen so that one could wistfully remind themselves of better times to come during next football season?
With the win against Kansas in hand and the Big XII conference championship being ours to lose, which game seems most likely to be the biggest/worst "trap game" through the rest of the season?
Will people be able to see Hilton from the SEZ? Depends? Many won't be able to see it but some on the corners will. Those lucky few will be able to escape from the reality that is our "football team". When those inevitable times come, put your faith in 3sus.
And this is exactly what I'm talking about. I won't say it's ours to lose until we beat Kansas in the Phog. Once that happens, I will ride that HYPETRAIN into the sunset with you brother. Or when Kansas loses to TCU again. That might do it. Speaking of TCU, that's right up there for the Trap Game of the Year. As mentioned above, we do fully expect to win that game since it's in Hilton. So I am going to give out a Co-Trap Game of the Year. Just like the Big 12! They both go to the games against Texas Tech. Both of those games are sandwiched between much higher profile games. The first comes in the library they are going to play in on Saturday, then they have a quick turnaround against Texas at home. Look ahead much?? Then the next match-up two weeks later is between road dates at Kansas and Oklahoma. That's a possible hangover game and a trap game. But let's just hope TTU continues to fart in their own mouths.
With the entire non-conference schedule behind us and five games into the gauntlet that is the Big XII, what does your overall report card look like for Bryce Dejean-Jones? Obviously he’s a solid player and a phenomenal athlete, but would you say that he’s living up to the preseason expectations or would you say he’s a disappointment thus far? Or is the jury still out on this one?
I'll give him a solid B. He is not an A yet by any means. He disappeared offensively for a few games and there's that whole loud-apartment-arrest thing. But the last few games he has reappeared on the offensive end and is leading the team in rebounds. I find that to be remarkable. On a team with Dusty and McKay, our 2-guard leads the team in rebounding. So he has blew away my expectations in that regard. But on the whole, I guess he hasn't quite lived up to my exceedingly high expectations. YET. Many more highly important games for him to get there. But more of this please:
There is always some sort of food debate happening here on WRNL. Thankfully, the Hotbox is here to
forever resolve these arguments make everyone lose their fucking minds.
We need a decision on what to call a sandwich of hamburger meat that has been cooked, not in a patty style, and with no sauce.
Wut. So you're talking about some ground beef that you just put on a bun? With no sauce? Are you talking about a Maid-Rite or Loose Meat Sandwich (THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO ACCEPTABLE NAMES)? I don't think so because a Maid-Rite certainly has a sauce. It is cooked in liquid and spices that becomes the sauce. Expert Tip: Use beer while making your Maid-Rites. Or are you just eating some normal-ass beef on a bun? If so, you must step up your Beef On a Bun game. Maid-Rite's are far superior.
Casey's Taco Pizza or Happy Joe's Taco Pizza?
Happy Joe's. They are the leaders in Taco Pizza in the area. The OP is starting to give them a run for their money though. But any other kind of pizza I go with Casey's. I consider this matter closed.
And finally we end this installment of the Hotbox with a question from a mysterious being who is only known as, Val_Venis:
I like to think of 3sus as wearing a Tuxedo shirt, that says like "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my 3sus to party too. How do you see your 3sus?
I see what you did there. Took an old quote from our buddy Cal Naughton Jr. and applied it to a WRNL favorite. But how do I see my 3sus? Not quite like you do but I like it. I think of my 3sus as a merciful, yet vengeful 3sus. 3sus is merciful for all the 3's that He gives his true believers. If you believe in 3sus, it shall set the 3's free. But He will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger for those who attempt to poison and destroy His 3's. And you will know He is 3sus when He lay His vengeance upon you. So my 3sus is basically Samuel L. Jackson. I'm fine with that.
What's your 3sus like?
"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."