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Paul Rhoads: Don't Punt, No Doubt

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Desperate times call for desperate measures. Coach Rhoads has forced my hand. He's forced me to write a parody song about punting to a tune from No Doubt. Dammit Paul.

Steven Branscombe-USA TODAY Sports

Shout out to Jeff Woody and this article over on CF for the inspiration behind this catchy tune.

Don't Punt

Gold and Green,
They used to be soft as a feather
Every game, a feather, always
I really feel ...
That our defense is pretend
I can't believe there should be so, much bend
It looks as though,
We're moving slow
And if it's real,
Well I'm pretty sure we blow

Don't Punt!
I know just what Paul's saying,
So please stop explaining,
You can't put Baylor in reverse
Don't Punt!
I know what Paul is thinking,
but I don't like his losing,
don't let Baylor make it worse

Our memories
Well they can be disheartening
Our history is kind of like wet
Farting

As we die, undefeated U of I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't Punt!
I know just what Paul's saying,
So please stop explaining,
You can't put Baylor in reverse (no, no, no)
Don't Punt!
I know what Paul is thinking,
but I don't like his losing,
don't let Baylor make it worse

The season's never-ending
We've gotta stop pretending, we've raised the bar ...

On the TV, we can see us dying ... are we?
Don't Punt!
I know just what Paul's saying,
So please stop explaining,
You can't put Baylor in reverse (no, no, no)
Don't Punt!
I know what Paul is thinking,
but I don't like his losing,
don't let Baylor make it worse
don't let Baylor make it worse!

I know just what Paul's saying,
So please stop explaining,
Don't Punt,
Don't Punt,
Don't Punt,
Oh I know what Paul's thinking
And I don't need his losing,
Baylor's good,
Baylor's good,
Baylor's real good.

Oh, they'll pass far, far, far, far , far , far.
They'll pass far, far, far, far, far, far
Don't, Don't Punt.

Rush, rush Warren
Rush, rush Warren
Rush, rush
Don't let Baylor make it worse!
Rush, rush Warren
Rush, rush Warren
Rush, rush
Don't let Baylor make it worse!