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Paul Rhoads Faux Presser: Post-Kansas

Iowa State football coach Paul Rhoads discussed Kansas, Texas Tech and other random crap in a totally real press conference that definitely actually happened.

Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

ISU head coach Paul Rhoads met with the media this morning to give his thoughts on last Saturday's game against Kansas, along with this week's game against Texas Tech.

On Kansas...

"We only had two weeks to prepare for a team that was one of nine to finish ahead of us in the conference last year. That right there shows the quality of that program."

"I wasn't positive how our boys would respond to those world-beaters, so I called on Fred Hoiberg to help give these young men a talk on the importance of manhandling Kansas. Fortunately it worked, and we were able to defeat a team that really represents the way Big 12 football should be in every aspect of the game."

On Kansas Head Coach, David Beaty...

"That's the one problem for them. Kansas is a program that has a coach who is all talk, and has the fans eating out of his hands. I can see exactly how it's going to play out... He's going to talk his way into their hearts and promise the success is building, but after he gets his contract, he's going to tank and his Kansas team will still be at the bottom of the conference."

"I couldn't even imagine being a part of a program like that."

On His Job Security...

"Is that a serious topic right now? Two things to point out. First...13 years. 13 years since we've been on top of the Big 12. Right now, we're undefeated in conference play because I single-handedly brought us to the top. We're in a place right now where we can announce to the whole world with a straight face that we are the best team in the Big 12. I've brought us to new heights these fans have never seen before."

"Second, when did extension talks begin between Jamie and I for my latest extension? 2011, shortly after I beat Kansas. Guess where I was just before this presser? That's right - Jamie's office."

On Which Play Should've Made SportsCenter's Top 10...

"Mike Warren busted a great run, Sam Richardson had that great touchdown run, D'Vario Montgomery had that awesome catch in the endzone. But a play I believe that we're all overlooking and taking for granted is that fumble recovery by...who was it? Ray? Jay? Jake...yeah that's right, my son."

"It was just a phenomenal play that, to be honest, I'm not sure anyone outside of the Rhoads lineage could've made."

On Texas Tech...

"Ahh, the battle of the two best-looking coaches in the nation. To be honest, neither of us care how this one turns out. I was just texting Kliff a few moments ago, and we put a $50 bet on whose quarterback will throw the ball more."

"Joke's on him, my defense is going to let them score every pass play to limit the number of passes they throw, which is kinda unfortunate because our defense really hasn't allowed many points per game this year."

On ISU's Defense This Season...

"Very impressive. You're welcome."

On Jamie Pollard's Handshake...

"I've always enjoyed shaking Jamie's hand, but that's just me. I'll never forget the one time he went to the bathroom and shook my hand afterwards and his hand was wet. I was so mad, but he told me not to worry, he just washed his hands. Joke's on him, the next time we shook hands, my hands were wet, and it wasn't because I just washed them."

"It was because I was with Nick Saban's daughter."