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The Weekly Troll: Texas Tech Annual Review

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Now that most of us have had at least a week to consider rational aspects of our upcoming opponent, it's time to not do that. This is your guide to prove that we, as a collective fan base, are far better than those mouth-breathers. Let's have a look back at all the terrible things they've done in the past year.

Last time we met you somehow managed to only beat us by THREE POINTS!  That's like practically being blown out by last year's standards.  And last year we also went through a phase where a few of us over here in the WRNL community referred to you as Taco Tech.  It was sorta funny for like the first few times we used it...but I'm just gonna say it.  We murdered every shred of fun, humor, and joy that ever came from the use of Taco Tech.  We overused it.  It doesn't make a lot of sense in the first place but since like, you're close to Mexico and that's where taco's come from and all.  Sorry to the lovely faithful of this site who still roll with the Taco Tech slang, but I felt the need to apologize to our Tech brethren.  This is by far the most sympathetic I've ever been to an opposing fan base.  And now I feel dirty.  So to get refreshed on all the horrible and racist things Texas Tech stands for, go roll around in last year's Weekly Troll for awhile. How dirty do you feel now?

REAL DIRTY.  You may notice that this rather exhilarating Vine was included in last year's Troll.  And I can't get enough of it.  It should be included in every Texas Tech publication from here until the ultimate heat-death of planet Earth.

Okay now, where was I?  That Vine is just so...distracting.  Oh yeah, let's get to the entire reason you're reading this article - the wonder things Tech did in the past year.

You played and lost a few games before our first entry, but since those games were boring and dumb, I'll just let you take a look at their schedule. But the real fun didn't start until October 25th against TCU.

I don't care if that game was before the Iowa State game and thus technically not eligible to the Annual Review.  But it did happen within one calendar year of this year's game.  So I made an exception for this exceptionally wonderful game of suckitude.  And let's not forget to mention the fact that this highlight(?) is only 1:44 long.  This is a MERCY HIGHLIGHT.  It would have taken like...at least three times as long to show that lobotomy in its entirety.  ESPN had to to do you a favor and just act like this was a normal college football game.  So they are just going along showing scores from BOTH teams, until they hit you with the "TCU 82 - Texas Tech 27" graphic and everyone pukes on their dicks.  Now run along and get a moist towel, you have a dick to clean up.

Then after that you lost to Texas by three touchdowns (boy do you look stupid now), then lost to OU (I have nothing to say here), then beat ISU (see beginning), and finally played Baylor within two points in a very meaningful game for them.  I'm actually kind of jealous of that result since Mecha-Baylor makes us bleed.  So that was your football season.  Good job, I guess.  Then something called "basketball season" happened.  I know it's not that big down in Texas, but up here in civilized society, we enjoy our basketball.  And you just had to go and fuck it up for us:

Funny story: we here at WRNL had a little get-together for during this game to drink beer and talk shop - mostly drink beer.  But we picked this game because we thought this would be a good game to actually get some real work done since ya know, we were going to decapitate them and all.  Well that obviously didn't happen.  It led to Angry Drinking which then led to this,

*austinnarber graciously shows up at halftime from his grandfather's burial service in which he told us beforehand*

*Mystery WRNL writer who is unwilling to come forward, "Haha nice suit Narber.  Where you'd come from, a wedding?!?"*

/silence.

Thank Jeebus this game happened not too much later so we could finally feel again:

We have a football to play?  Shit.  Well I'll end this piece with another Vine from last year's article because it makes me feel better as a human being.  It feels right.

If you have any other perfectly logical reasons for why we are better than Texas Tech, don't hesitate to share in the comments.