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Ames, You've Been Great to Us But the Time Has Come, Again...

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The time has come once again to do the right thing... Please sign our petition to rename "Ames, Iowa" to "Prohman Empire, USA."

Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Back in March, the brilliant, standout journalists at WRNL decided to create a petition to rename Ames, Iowa to Hoiberg, USA. At the time, it was quite possibly the best idea in the history of good ideas. Fred Hoiberg was at the forefront of a rebirth for the Iowa State men's basketball program, and the local boy checked all the boxes on the "let's name our town after him" qualification requirements.

As seen in the images below, the petition was met with critical acclaim from the always rational and always logical internet posters over on Cyclone Fanatic who are known for their ability to take a joke well.

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Because we at WRNL are always looking to improve, we've been tossing and turning at night ever since, trying to think of ways to make up for our failed petition from back in March. 675 Cyclone fans signed the original petition -- a mere 99,325 signatures away from achieving the 100,000 it needed to be reviewed by the Obama Administration.

Now, to make it up to those 675 people who so desperately wanted to change the name of Ames (and the thousands of others who wanted to sign, but were sadly experiencing difficulties with their internet connections in the spring), we are giving it another shot this winter. They say everyone deserves a second chance, and we intend to make the most of ours this time around.

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Steven Marshall Prohm took over as the new head coach of the Iowa State Cyclones after the aforementioned Hoiberg departed to coach the Chicago Bulls. Since he's been coaching the team, Prohm has gone a perfect 9-0 -- the best winning percentage in ISU coaching history. In fact, it's the best percentage that any basketball coach has ever achieved, at ANY single school, in the history of the sport.

John Calipari? Not undefeated at Kentucky. Coach K? He's lost many times at Duke. Bill Self? HA, Coach Prohm doesn't lose, or wear toupees.

The coaching parallels between Prohm and "The Golden Boy" Hoiberg are startling, with the most notable similarity being their ability to win more games than they lose. That characteristic has always been a key trait that ISU fans have wanted in a coach.

Prohm's nine wins have included some important victories. The Cyclones have defeated notable, respected teams like Colorado, Chicago State, Chattanooga, Virginia Tech, Illinois, North Dakota State, Buffalo, Arkansas-Pine Bluff and even a victory over Grand Valley State (though it was in an exhibition game and didn't count).

As you can tell, Iowa State fans have something special in head coach Steve Prohm. It's our hope at WRNL that you will sign our petition to rename Ames, Iowa to Prohman Empire, USA, to help keep our amazing new basketball coach in town. Just look at what happened the last time our petition didn't get all the required signatures... We can't wait any longer to get this done, or our coach might leave for the NBA.

YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN, DO YOU?

As it stands, we're only 99,999 away from getting our request in front of the President. If everyone on the planet signed, we would only need 0.000014 signatures per person to reach our goal.

Statistically, Coach Prohm is the best ISU coach of all time. He's even to the point that he has the best winning percentage of any coach at a single school in the history of the sport -- something Hoiberg and the great Johnny Orr (RIP) couldn't even do. That's what makes him so deserving of this incredible gesture.

Help us give Coach Prohm what he deserves. Sign the petition today, and share it with your friends so we can make this happen.

#ProhmanEmpireUSA

CLICK HERE TO SIGN THE PETITION

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