clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The WRNL Hotbox: What's the Biggest Nutshot in Cyclone History?

You have questions? We have opinions.

After a brief one week break (after a very long break), the Hotbox is back to tell you how to think. The reason being, I didn't have internet. I know, I know, this is a lame excuse and I need to play like a champion. Well to be honest, I've never really won a championship before. Youth AAU basketball tournaments, high school, college intramurals, or ANY of the horrible teams I chose to cheer for. None.

The only thing I ever won was in The Godfather Larry's youth basketball camp. We played The Godfather's son in the championship and I SHUT HIS ASS DOWN. The Godfather came over and congratulated me personally after the game. TRUE STORY. I like to thing that I drove him to drinking with my suffocating defense and in turn, the creation of this very website. Thank me in the comments.

But to go along with this week's theme of being losers, Feeny4 wants to know what the biggest dick kick in recent Cyclone sports history is. The Hotbox will gladly oblique him/her.



If Georges was seriously hurt in the NDSU game and gone for the season...

Is that the biggest nutshot of all time to Cyclone fandom? Where does it fall in the overall scope of bad things happening to ISU? This basketball season has all the possibility of being something special, and to have it all spoiled in a meaningless game against an OOC team would seem like the ultimate Iowa State. I ask this as a still relatively new ISU fan (last 3-4 years only) where my knowledge of overall ISU travesties is more general than anything specific.

This question actually offends the Hotbox. You had the gall to assume you know what the worst thing in recent Cyclone sports lore is....and you've only cared for 3-4 YEARS?!?! The Hotbox is 25 and Iowa State is one of those above mentioned teams that I have always cheered for, but only to be crushed year after year. Sometimes when I talk about how bad my Cyclone fandom has been going, I'll catch myself and realize that there are people out there who are older than me AND like Iowa State. I instantly feel like an asshole and want to give them oldtimers a hug. They've seen some shit.

But contextually, how would losing Georges to a season ending injury fit within the Realm of Suck?  To the breakdown:

  1. The Blarge: Another possible officiating blunder leading to an epic collapse.  This team wins the title without it, making it #1.  This then leads the whole, Natty Lite thing.
  2. Wide Right x 2: This being before your time, Iowa State missed kicks in consecutive years to go win the Big 12 North, and go to what was then known as the Big 12 Championship game.
These two things are all you need to know as a reader of Wide Right & Natty Lite. Everything else doesn't come close. No matter how many other times we've been kicked in the stones, these take the cake.

Oh Great Hotbox
News out today (EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT ACTUALLY TODAY) that Wally Burnham is retiring. What’s the O/U on how long this retirement lasts? While I couldn’t stand how he ran his defense he was one hell of a builder of linebackers. And he’s said in the past that he’s never really had hobbies, everything has been football, so I can’t really see him really retiring. Will we end up hearing news of him hiring on or volunteering at some JUCO or D3 school in the next few months as a LB coach or will the retirement actually stick?
I think and hope he is done. He is an old man but still quite excitable. Being old and excitable are usually not a good recipe for good health. I wonder how much sleep we would get knowing he had to gameplan for Big 12 offenses while knowing his talent pool was not up to snuff. He probably woke up, puked, and cried himself to back to sleep every night.  He doesn't deserve that. He deserves to be on a warm beach with a cool drink coaching a women's beach volleyball team. I think he'd come to find that to be much more rewarding.

Zero Beat,
I belive that Niang is training someone to be as great a Twitter troll as he
His protege will be revealed after the CyGawk when they make a dank meme.
First off, wut? I copied this letter for letter and it took me far too many times reading it to come to, what I think, is what you really meant.  So you think Georges is training another Iowa State basketball player to take over his Twitter trolling of the Iowa Hawkeyes. Kinda like a Jedi Master training his padawan #STARWARS. I don't think so. Trolling isn't something you learn. Trolling is something you are born with. You either have it or you don't. I would know, since the Hotbox is also the author of the Weekly Troll. I have it. Georges has it. I haven't seen anyone else on this team go trollin' besides Georges, so I would bet there won't be a Troller on the current squad. But on a future squad....

My overlord, Kevin Fitzpatrick,
Oh mighty Hotbox,
How many mother and child rims will lose their fathers this year due to Deonte Burton's dunking rampages?
So just to clarify, are we talking about the deaths of rims? Or backboards? Or BOTH?!? Because I would sell my unborn child to China if I could see #DEDUNKTE shatter one backboard. But is that even possible anymore? Have the many years of basketball hoop engineering finally put an end to backboard shattering? SMDH, science. But I'm still pretty confident that he can rip off the rim from the backboard and throw it into the balcony. Those poor bastard rim children.  #DEDUNKTE will change their lives forever.

And finally, @Hawkize has some nice things to say,
Yeah well:

If you have a question for the Hotbox, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, and definitely the comments below.

"When you know, you know, ya know?"