clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The WRNL Hotbox: Which Big 12 Coach is Saved in the Rapture?

New, 51 comments

You have questions? We have opinions.

THE HOTBOX
THE HOTBOX

Last week, I asked y'all to ask me questions that relate to Iowa State and beyond. Most of them pertained to the football coaching search. But as most of you know, that is over and done with.

We went ahead and hired Matt Campbell, who just happened to be the Hotbox's FIRST CHOICE. There is evidence of this somewhere on the WRNL Google Hangout somewhere. And even if I did, I couldn't show you any conversation that has taken place in said Hangout. There is a lot of valuable proprietary information in the Hangout—and possibly things that could get us fired from all our real jobs—but that's neither here nor there. And anyway, the Hotbox has much better things to do than go back and find one single piece of prediction history. You ask and the Hotbox provides the correct answer/opinion.

THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS.

TO THE BOX:

From new reader Learn2change4thebetter:

The rapture

Let’s say Jesus the Christ Lord and Savior comes back to take all the Christians to heaven. Would we still have a Big12 basketball season? What coaches would be left? Prohm is gone. Clearly Bill Self is left here on earth. Can Iowa State still field a team? Monte probably loves God. Naz is saved. What about Georges? I’m pretty sure Matt Thomas is left here. Thoughts? Ya never know when God is coming. Hopefully we can make it thru this season first. It’s gonna be a fun one. Thanks.

I share your rapture concern, Learn2change4thebetter. I am constantly worried that The End is here and God is gonna take all his good kids to the Big Amusement Park in the Sky and leave my ass at the neighbors'. So I'm not so sure about myself. But applying that to Big 12 basketball coaches? Psh, that's a piece of cake...

NAUGHTY LIST

1. Bill Self: DUH.

2. Bob Huggins: Done a drug or two in his day.

3. Shaka Smart: Texas requirement.

4. Travis Ford: Dumb AND evil.

5. Scott Drew: Lord of Baptist Timeout Hell.

NICE LIST

1. Steve Prohm: Rebirth of 3sus.

2. Lon Kruger: He's a good coach and a good man.

3. Tubby Smith: God is testing his faith. He is still there.

4. Bruce Weber: Too dumb to be evil.

5. Trent Johnson: See No. 3.

And as it goes for the current student-athletes on our roster, I will not speculate on their rapture fates. I'll leave that up to you heathens to decide in the comments. I gotta keep their heads right (JAMEEL).

Cynecdoche:

How is Niang going to troll Iowa this year?

Will it be in-game? When will he start his Twitter campaign? Which younger players is he training to take over this important role?

As of right now, Georges hasn't tweeted for like three months or something. So it won't be before. He may be saving it for right after the game, but I have a feeling he's staying off of social media to show he's #FOCUSED and #GRINDIN. He may even be waiting until they win that #NATTY. If that's the case, I'm perfectly fine with him not doing anything but ballin' on their stupid asses. Jameel could learn a thing or two.

FormerCyMascot:

Best recipe/idea for leftovers for Thanksgiving?

I like to mix the stuffing and turkey carcass into a pot and throw carrots, celery and egg noodles in for turkey soup.

Also, for Christmas, turkey or ham?

Everyone reading this better have eaten their Thanksgiving leftovers already. If not, you're a crazy food hoarder and should be jailed. But for the sane among us, I'm sure y'all have made all sorts of turkey sandwiches and stews. To me, both are acceptable and good. My Old Man likes to reheat gravy and turkey together and eat it with a plethora of buttered rolls and pie. It's flame.

And for Christmas? Turkey or you're a monster.

T&V:

Dear Hotbox,

Will any of our players hotbox this year? Or, more importantly, will any of them not hotbox and get suspended on drug charges? What’s the over/under on suspensions?

Again, I don't want to speculate on sensitive matters involving our beloved student- athletes. But as young men, they will enjoy themselves from time to time. I only ask that they enjoy themselves in the privacy of their freely-provided student housing. They can hotbox an interior room all they want. NO LOUD MUSIC. But don't go driving around in mom's old Lincoln and have to play the "I play basketball" card to Mr. Officer. That doesn't always work, ya know.

I'll set the over/under at .5 suspensions.

WHO WANTS THAT ACTION?

These last couple of questions were asked before these events happened last week. I will answer as if I TOTALLY don't know the outcome already.

Fierce134:

Watching Houston/Navy right now

And man, can the triple option be pretty if run right. Oh great Hotbox, what is thine omniscient take on getting Navy coach Nat Geo if it means we convert to the triple option? I know some have voiced their disinterest already in it.

Here's a HOT TAKE: The triple option should be BANNED. It's only good if you ALWAYS have game control. When you get behind (WE ARE IOWA STATE) and need to score quickly, your entire playbook might as well be toilet paper. Having your running QB drop back when everyone knows it isn't a recipe for success. And it should be BANNED because the teams that are using it have a built-in competitive disadvantage, and I HAVE MONEY ON THIS GAME DAMMIT. Can't go losing my 50 bucks.

And finally, everyone's favorite drunk, TedFlintKansas:

Iowa

if Iowa beats Nebraska today. what would you be willing to sacrifice/give up to keep them from making the college football playoff?

Well Ted, Iowa won. And to be honest, I'm excited for them. One, because I hate Nebraska more. Two, it's a very historic thing for a team from Iowa to be where they are. It gives us all a reason to gather 'round the TV with our friends, eat, drink and talk shit about the Hawks in some form or another. Either way, we're gonna get #HATECLICKS from them anyways. It's a win-win!  And I'd be willing to give up about four bucks. Not gonna change my life any significant way for those trailer-people.

If you have a question for the Hotbox, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, and definitely the comments below.

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

-Alfred Einstein