First off, let's wish our Dreamy overlord health and happiness as he is about to embark on another heart surgery. I hope he has the Dr. James Andrews of heart surgeries doing this one because I have had something weighing on me since last week. If you don't remember, I ended the article with this joke:
Only TRUE fans root for teams that give you an ulcer, diabetes, and heart failure.
As it turns out, Mr. Hoiberg announced his heart surgery early that day. I had written that joke before that announcement.
I'm the worst.
I publicly apologized for my insensitive comment and served my one week suspension from
ESPN joke making. I have done my time so it's back to the tomfoolery.
***NUKES WRITING ETIQUETTE INTO SUN***
Well today's the day! I mentioned that I might drop a certain something on the masses if it seemed to have enough traction and #buzz. As the Hotbox always aims to please its audience, here is that certain something:
Suckers. if you don't remember, I prefaced my statement with this:
Maybe if you're all good little boys and girls I'll drop that shit on next weeks Hotbox. But I've obviously been holding this for just the right time so it's gonna need some demand and #buzz. So there are a few things that will need to happen for this to drop. The song will need to go viral, I'll have to become a famous rapper/movie star, and then I can finally become Iowa State's Super Donor who gifts our football team athletic relevance.
From what I saw, the #buzz was not near high enough for any of those things to happen. SMH. The "Waistband Tuck" deserves better. Our football program deserves better. And plus, I'm trying to sell out as quick as possible.
HAHA NVM it's the offseason and I am running out of ideas. Sorta NSFW.
Let's do a little Hotboxing at least:
Change is the only constant.
Heart attacks, NBA rumors, tire fires, Natty Lite—a coaching or AD change is always a possibility. Jamie Pollard must have a list of potential coaches, and Steven Leath must have a list of potential ADs. So, what names do you think would be on Pollard’s list of football coaches, and men’s basketball coaches? (Bill Fennelly will be here for all eternity!) What names might be on Leath’s list? And, what are the odds that Jeff Hornacek might someday coach at his alma mater? Finally, everyone thinks that when Fred is no longer coaching at ISU, it’ll be because he’s coaching an NBA team. What’s the likelihood that he might do a Barry Alvarez/Bob Devaney and take the AD seat some day, instead?
Pollard's potential coaching list huh? I honestly think if he cans Rhoads (which would be a miracle) he immediately hires Mangino. He can claim legitimate experience, success, and continuity. So I think that's what happens. But if he were to somehow go away from Mangino, he goes with Matt Campbell from Toledo. He is young and has been relatively successful so far. But anything beyond those two, refer to KnowDan.
Jeff Hornacek to ISU someday? Nope. He reached the pinnacle of his profession and has his young team playing above expectations. The only way it could happen is if Iowa State somehow becomes a blue blood, Dreamy leaves, and Hornacek is out of a job in the NBA.
And Dreamy as the AD? That's a nope again. He will coach at ISU until he is satisfied and then he will either move to the NBA or retire to enjoy his life of leisure. There is no reason to can Jamie because of all the success and money he has brought to the University. But if Dreamy became Overlord of Athletics, I already approve.
Omnipotent and all powerful Hotbox,
As of writing this question we have 3 open scholarships with Babb just committing, and 3 big men in our sights in Chris Boucher, Tyler Harris, and the highly coveted Diallo, do we land any of these guys, or are we better of locking down more recruits for 2016?
I think we only get one of these guys with Diallo obviously being the preference. But ever since Matt Abdelmassih left for St. Johns, the hype for him has diminished. And I am one of those who have that diminishing feeling. Abdelmassih was the guy with the New York pipeline. Abdelmassih was the one who was the lead recruiter. But one thing Abdelmassih wasn't, was being Fred Hoiberg. Hopefully Dreamy can out-dreamy that poser Chris Mullen.
As for Chris Boucher? It looks like we jumped in quite late in the recruiting process. Well, this is because of the loss of Darien Williams but still. And the Crystal Ball has him at 100% for TCU for whatever that is worth.
And I don't know much about Tyler Harris, but I do know he is a transfer from Providence. That means he is very likely to end up at ISU.
Now that Spring seems to have sprung, as it were, I’m far more interested in drinking beers outdoors on my patio couch than drinking beers indoors on my couch. What are your seasonal beer recommendations? Any suggestions on what I should be grilling to eat with these delicious beers?
The one I had most recently was the Widmer Brothers Columbia Common Spring Ale. I wasn't sure what to expect since the bottle claimed it was a hybrid beer between an ale and lager. It turned out to be quite refreshing yet still hoppy (which I'm very much into). If you are also into that sort of thing, I recommend it. But if your local Hy-Vee is finished selling the Spring seasonals and have moved onto the summer's, I recommend Peace Tree's Blonde Fatale. Yes, yes, I realize that beer is not a summer seasonal. But I just really like that beer. It's "Blonde" so close enough I guess. This beer is actually quite complex and still refreshing. And not mention it sports a 8.5% ABV so be prepared to get yammed. But that's the point, right?
Well that's it for the Hotbox this week. Hope a rap song about concealing your dong makes up for the lack of submissions/responses. Bring on the #HATERS.
"To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge."