Fred Hoiberg is leaving Ames. You know it, I know it, and Jamie Pollard knows it. When Fred is out the door he's not going to just be cleaning off his desk. He's going to be taking his couch too. And if he doesn't we'll have one of our intrepid contributors break in to the Sukup, take it, and burn it in the middle of Lincoln Way and Welch.
So with that in mind, we look at possible replacement couches for whoever the next Iowa State basketball couch is.
Pros: The sectional sofa creates a cozy atmosphere that still provides a lot of seating room for coaches and players. It allows for congregating in one spot to watch film on the latest second half comeback.
Cons: Will take up a lot of room in a small office and hard to haul away when the next coach jumps ship in five years.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 5, this sucker will burn, but it's not going to burn spectacularly like your wood framed, liquor soaked dorm couch. Most likely melts in to a pile of broken dreams.
Pros: The Chesterfield style of sofa is your classic leather sofa that adds class to any room. Its rich stylings give an aura of a blue blood program in the making.
Cons: Would probably find this in Roy Williams' office.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 2, leather is tough as hell to burn, especially if it's been treated; would need to add a few tires to the couch to ensure a thorough burn through.
Pros: Easy to move and easy to replace in parts. Unique ability to fold out in to a bed allows whoever is using it to stay in the Sukup overnight while dreaming of ways to unseat Kansas.
Cons: Is the mullet of the furniture world and requires new mattresses or a cover every few months.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 8 (wood), 1 (metal), get a wood framed futon, soak that mattress with every fluid you can find, and watch the thing light up Campustown.
Pros: Great again for long hours spent in the office when naps are required. Spruce up with some mood lighting and watch the recruit's mothers swoon.
Cons: Not great for tall people, might seriously consider evaluating why there's furniture in the office to begin with.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 7, it's going to burn, but who the hell wants to burn a day bed? It's not a couch, it's a bed with arms.
Pros: Conveniently sized for easy moving and doubles as perfect sized couch for TJ Otzelberger.
Cons: Will make any office look like your parent's living room, throw pillows will cut down on available space.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 4, it will burn hot and fast but finish with a whimper, much like BDJ's career in Ames.
Pros: Great sized, comfortable, and spacious enough to hold multiple people; a classic couch that allows the sitter to sink in and not move for hours. Great for the long hours spent playing scholarship bingo.
Cons: Would find in your grandmother's house, unlikely to attract recruits under the age of 50.
Bob Huggins Burnability Scale: 9, all the Aqua Net your grandmother used when she was younger seeped in to this couch. One match and this thing goes up in flames and burns until the wee hours of the morning. Who needs VEISHEA?