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Relax Chicago: Fred Hoiberg Is Going To Succeed

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Bulls fans may be stressed about the hiring of a no-name coach from Iowa State, but they have no reason to worry.

Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports

Congratulations Chicago Bulls fans, you have a new coach regardless if you wanted one or not.  It only takes a few minutes on a Bulls forum to find that many don't know a lot about the new guy, but I'm here to tell you it's all going to be okay.  Fred Hoiberg is going to be successful.  It's really not even a question, Fred is going to be a fan and player favorite and along the way he'll win a bunch of games.  Why am I so confident in this?  Because it's Fred Hoiberg.

When Fred Hoiberg was a under a year old his mother nearly entered him in a crawling contest because he was impossibly coordinated for such a young age.  He woke up sick that morning so they didn't let him, but the quote from Hoiberg's father Eric explains everything: "He would have won though. That's his thing"

His mother Karen elaborates: "He won a Pac-Man contest at a local department store when he was 8. He always won the Punt/Pass/Kick competitions. I remember when he was in elementary school once and they had to stop the game and tell him 'Fred, can you let the other team score some points?'"

As a high schooler Fred was named Iowa's Mr Basketball after leading his team to a state championship.  The same year his was named the Gatorade State Player of the Year in Football.  He was offered a Nebraska football scholarship to play quarterback back when Nebraska football was really NEBRASKA FOOTBALL, ultimately turning it down for a basketball scholarship at Iowa State.

Fred's collegiate accolades are almost too many to measure: Conference Freshman of the Year, multiple All conference teams, All American honors, Academic All American, Conference Athlete of the year, Iowa State Athlete of the year, etc. etc.  He holds numerous records and and in 1994 finished in the Top 10 in seven of the eight statistical categories recorded by the Big Eight Conference.

Fred was drafted by the Pacers and played 10 NBA seasons as a three point specialist, leading the league (48%) in 2005.  Within three years of retirement from playing he had already been named Vice President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves.

In 2011 he returned to Iowa State to take over the head coaching duties at a floundering program.  After only a single rebuilding year Fred returned the program to the NCAA tournament and the remained there throughout his tenure.  Last year the Cyclones had their best attendance ever filling Hilton Coliseum to 99.5% capacity on the season.  He was the 2012 Co-Big 12 Coach of the Year, won back to back Big 12 Tournaments, coached four All-Americans, twelve all-conference players and led Iowa State to it's first ever four year NCAA tournament streak.   All this after never having coached at any level prior to accepting the job.

Oh and along the way, Fred found time to hit a hole-in-one AND a double eagle within a two month period.  He won the Shots from the Heart coaches free throw contest by sinking 252/253 free throws (he missed the 103rd attempt).

He's The Mayor, the nickname give to him because everyone adores him.  He's the golden boy, the white knight your mom wished you were.  He holds a finance degree and he's never even tried pot.  He's the dreamy face your girlfriend would leave you for.  He's Fred Hoiberg and we're going to miss him.

So don't worry Bulls fans, your team is in good hands.  Was Tom Thibodeau unfairly dismissed?  Probably.  But you don't have to worry your pretty little heads about a thing.  Your favorite team is going to be just fine.  This isn't Tim Floyd Part 2, this is Fred Hoiberg.

Fred Hoiberg always succeeds.