When the call went out recently for more WRNL content providers, CornFed suggested a weekly column of limericks. I liked the idea but I think restricting it to one lyrical style is too limiting. I reached out to Fitzy and suggested a weekly column of verses in various styles and that readers could contribute there own abominations in the comments section. The new overlord probably rightly thought this was the dumbest idea ever, but as a new overload wanted to be kind, so he told me to make a fanpost and if it was any good, he'd promote it to front page status. Never one to take the hint of a polite brush off, I've plowed ahead with the idea.
Please, allow me to introduce myself musically. Like my wardrobe my parody song choice is horribly out of date. Feel free to queue up a YouTube of the actual theme some to jam along with.
The Clone Prince of SoCal
Now this is a story all about how
My nuts went numb to all that goes down
It'll only take a minute, to get you back to your game
I'll tell you how I became a fan of the team that's from Ames
In North Central Iowa not born but schooled
In the Towers is where I broke most of the rules
Chillin' at Cy's with a backdoor "ID"
It was heck of way to spend the mid-90's
With a couple of guys, drove fast as we could
Almost killed a back who was 'bout to do good
Skidded to a stop mere inches from Troy
He slapped the hood, walked on, and we asked "Who's that boy?"
Later that year watching B-ball inside
Hilton was a place for a hell of a ride
The mayors last year, was the first for Tim Floyd
With the Pep Band is how Hilton Magic was enjoyed.
The basketball was great but football not so much
Danny Mac taught us how to take a nut punch
Five years I was there, we only won 9
Despite all of that I had a hell of a time
'Round 99 came my graduation
Out west is where I found my job situation
Then the team won 8 games and a trip to AZ
They won the bowl game and I said "Yo, home to OC"
Been here ever since, now a weather lightweight
Told those midwest winters "Yo holmes, smell ya later"
I aint got much of a kingdom, but I do have a throne
Thanks for reading my poem, I'm the SoCalClone.
If you are inspired, please add a limerick, haiku, sonnet, or free form verse to the comments section. Fanbase trolling and Cyclone news topics to be encouraged. I'll start you off:
(To the Itsy Bitsy Spider)
The Angry Cyclone O-Line God struck down another line man
A backup JUCO center's gone and stressed the teams bullpen
In comes a guy not quite ready for prime time
As Sam runs for his life, watching this should be a crime
...and a limerick about UNI allegiances.
As Purplehawks descend on Ames
An upset upon their brains
The clock strikes zeros,
The Cyclones are heroes
We'll see you all for next weeks game