Before we get started, I should preface this article by saying that you shouldn't be bummed about an off week at all. Bye weeks give teams a chance to rest and recover, and they're a big help to injured players. It also gives coaches and coordinators a chance to fix the catastrophic problems the team faced in the games prior. These are both good things for Iowa State.
The health of guys like Tyler Brown, Daniel Burton, Qujuan Floyd, Sam E. Richardson, Gabe Luna, and Mr. Easy Cheese Demond Tucker will surely benefit from a week off. As for the coaching staff, well, I'm convinced they would need several weeks off to figure out the myriad of problems that plagued the Cyclones last Saturday. The offensive line was simply offensive, our kicker couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a scoop shovel (when it mattered), and the team as a whole had more penalties than the NCAA gave SMU back in '85. I mean, if the Dallas Cowboys can commit 18 penalties AND play Brandon Weeden ,yet still beat the Eagles, surely these Cyclones could have overcome the miscues to beat a perennial powerhouse like Toledo, right?
Regardless of what the bye week brings, it ultimately just means the Cyclones won't be in action this weekend. So, whatever are you going to do with a free week/weekend? Without further adieu, here's some suggestions to help you cure the bye week boredom.
- Actually pay attention at work in an attempt to raise your already low football season productivity!
- Since no one's actually going to do that, you can read up on Cyclone basketball and Prohm's progress on the recruiting trail!
- Or, if you've completely given up on football, you can start counting down the days until basketball season starts. Only 52 more to go!
- Spend more time with your spouse/children/family instead of tailgating with complete strangers or watching football with them at a bar!
- Speaking of family, you could teach your young children to count by having them count all the penalties the Cyclones committed on Saturday!
If you really want to think about the past weekend's games, you should:
- Read up on the few positive things to take away from Saturday's debacle in northern Ohio (see Mike Warren and Joel Lanning).
- Or you spend the week trying to figure out why we didn't center the ball for the game-winning kick! As ClonesJer likes to say: "LACES OUT PAUL! CENTER THE BALL PAUL!"
- Probably watch this GIF on repeat:
- Or this one:
- And you should definitely watch the video of Kent State's 2 yard punt.
If you would like to try and solve Iowa State's football troubles, here's what you should do:
- Since you've probably been violently run over by the derailment of the ISU football hype train, you can begin your own search for a new head coach! (Wouldn't Lane Kiffin look good in Cardinal and Gold?)
- Or you can start preparing your own application for Iowa State's soon to be vacant head coaching position based on your Madden/NCAA '97 experience!
- Speaking of coaching searches, if you really want to feel bad about yourself, you can check out the list of candidates from the last time the position was open! (Don't forget about Jim Harbaugh or Jim Kelly)
- Finally, if you are frustrated enough, you could send the athletic department your solutions! Here's a few, courtesy of the WRNL Staff:
- ClonesJer: "Fire all the coaches, release all the scholarships, burn down the facilities, and wipe out all the bleeping records/shred everything with a Cyclone football logo on it."
- The CYdeliner: "Implode the SEZ. Rocket the student section into space. Sink all of our equipment into the bottom of the Marianas Trench."
- CanAzn: "I say we go all in on lacrosse."
It's also important to note that just because the Cyclones aren't playing, doesn't mean there isn't football on...
- Conference play has finally started, which means you can watch some hard-hitting conference football, like: TCU vs Texas Tech, A&M vs Arkansas, or UCLA vs Arizona!
- Or, you can watch some absolutely marquee Big 10 match-ups: Central Michigan vs Michigan State, Bowling Green vs Purdue, or Western Michigan vs Ohio State!
- Finally, be sure to tune in to a game that will likely be the most talked about, high-scoring, hard-nosed game of the weekend, heck maybe the entire season: Kansas vs Rutgers. I predict it'll look something like this...
Once again, it's important to remember that while ISU may not be playing, the weekend can still be filled with football and beer. And since we aren't playing, you'll get a chance to watch some good football. As long as you aren't watching the Big 10. Big 10 football is more boring than Lundberg having sex in Office Space.
Finally, besides giving our coaches an extra week to get their poop in a group and our hurt players a chance to recover, a bye week means that it's not physically possible for Iowa State to lose this weekend. And that counts as a win in my book.