The WRNL Hotbox: WHO DO YOU SAVE???

So last week we were mourning the loss of our beloved basketball team, considering Steve Prohm's fate, and announcing the nominees for the Bowlsey's. Cyclone Nation was so confused about their purpose in life that only 48% of our rabid internet voting fan base thought we'd finish in the top three of the Big XII. That was compared to 45% of people who decided to end it all and jump off the optimism cliff. How would that poll go now? I think we'd vote a little differently. Iowa State beat the #1 team in the nation for the first time since the stone age. And now, all is well. UNTIL NEXT TIME.

This week's version of the Hotbox is gonna be a little different. The Hotbox is lonely and needs to be stuffed, but received a couple of submissions. The other ones are some hypothetical shit that the Hotbox and your fellow WRNL writers posed to the group. The debate on these will be long and hard. Just as the Hotbox likes it LOL.

Let's get Hot:

FormerCyMascot,

How do I get people to shut up (totally not talking about my wife, she's cool. Love you sweetie!) when I’m watching Iowa State play or any other sporting event? I try turning the volume up to give a hint. It’s one thing to comment on the game or the shitty refs we get, but side conversations need to be elsewhere.

This is usually a problem with big watch parties, and not normally with small family watch units. Unless you have small children or Mrs. FormerCyMascot, you're screwed. If you live with tiny irrational child-monsters or the Queen of the Chatty Cathy's, just give up. You either need to develop a second life with an entirely different family to get away, or watch all games on the can. Those are your only means of escape. New life, or the privacy of a locked door that people think you're pooping into.

But really, if they are your true family and friends, you tell them they need to shut their fat mouth because I CAN'T HEAR IF MUSBERGER TOOK THE OVER OR NOT. They love you. They'll understand.

This one comes from GrannyOnTheWeb,

I have a question for the HotBox,

Why is everyone mis-pronouncing Nader's first name. It is spelled A B D E L, which, according to my grade school grammar teacher, should be pronounced Ab-dell (like the Farmer in the); however, every one calls him Abdul (like drool). Maybe the grammar gods are upset about that - maybe the 'clones will wiin if people begin to pronounce the spelling correctly. Or maybe he needs to change the spelling of his name to A B D OO L.....

Well Granny, unfortunately your grade school grammar teacher is WRONG. Adbel Nader's name is actually pronounced ABDOOL - as you might say. But to your grade school grammar teacher's credit, the farmer in the Abdel is how it SHOULD be be pronounced according to the official Rules of English. You know, the language where I comes before E except after C....sometimes. Our language is not perfect and neither are the people who decide what your name is and how it should be pronounced. I might have a child someday and name him Tylenol. But I'll make everyone pronounce it as F-ART. It is my right as an American to name my child whatever I want, no matter how wrong or phonetically incorrect. BACK OFF, GRANNY

DNA4CY,

I know how food can be such a hot topic around here...so I'm gonna throw this out there. I've been eating a lot of tuna salad sandwiches lately. Like A LOT. I went through an entire jar of mayo... in a week. That might be too much in hindsight. But to my question...Should I keep the tuna salad sandwich thing going or should I place my faith in other salad based sandwiches, such as chicken salad sandwiches?

First off, I can tell you right now the comments down below are gonna be dominated by a debate on "salad based sandwiches". Which as you'll see down below in the poll question, is really something for the internet.

But to your question...you're a monster. Every "salad based sandwich' is gross and bad and should be banned. First off, mayonnaise. Spreadable liquid(ish) fat. That's the end of that argument. Mayo is bad and that's an objective truth. You may not argue that point, even though I know you will. Second off, SALAD?!? LOL. Slathering on some pure fat between two buns with some shitty meat or even worse, fish, and throwing some lettuce on it DOES NOT make it a salad. It makes you a disgusting monster who needs counseling,

austinnarber,

Someone asked me this today:

Would you take a bullet for your dog?

Oh, boy. I'm gonna preface these next two questions by saying I've never actually owned a dog. I've lived with plenty of dogs through the years and loved them all. But never was I the MASTER. I know you all are going to tell me, "Well then you just wouldn't understand." Well, I'm telling you I have a brain that functions with logic...most of the time.

So to the question at hand. It depends on where you take the bullet. If it's a kill shot, not a chance. I think I have a lot more impact on this planet and the people around me than my dog. My dog means a lot to me and MAYBE a few other people. If I'm gone, I HOPE my family will be a bit more devastated than a dog.

But I will concede if it's just a flesh wound that you will recover from, I think I'd take that bullet. I'M A SAINT.

And this brings us to our final dog related conundrum...

The CYdeliner,

Okay everyone hold onto your butts, things are about to get real. This is where we find many of your moral centers. This will teach us our true values as a society. If you have never thought of such a query, this will shake you. This will haunt you. You will think about this for weeks. No. MONTHS. You will ask this same question to all your friends and family. Debates will rage. Relationships and families will be destroyed by this single question of character. Get ready, because here we go:

Let's say, for some ridiculous reason or another, A HUMAN STRANGER and YOUR DOG have been tied to some railroad tracks...and a train is a comin'. You only have time to save one.

Who do you save?

Okay for me this is easy. The answer is the human everytime. I value human life above all else. I'm willing to be sad for awhile to save another human who has a family and friends and life beyond these imaginary train tracks. Many of you dog owners are gonna save your dog. That's fine. But put yourself on the train tracks and watch some asshole save a dog over you. You would not be very understanding.

Let me know your moral stance in the poll below.

If you have a question for the Hotbox (and if you want to return to HAPPY CYCLONE HOTBOX), hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, and definitely the comments below.

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit"

-Oscar Wilde