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Texan Week: The Yell Leader Shark

We pull Norman Underwood from parts unknown to write about Texas A&M in the only way he can.

The Yell Leader Shark as Told by Rick Perry

This shark is known for it's unique combination of intense, show-boating behavior which belies an unusually crippling insecurity when threatened or approached by anything capable of pushing it around. Thus, it resorts to some of the most interesting and bizarre behaviors in the shark kingdom. From disguising itself as an actual Great White, to bullying/excluding of female sharks or darker skinned sharks from it's inner circles.

Of all these behaviors, perhaps the most intriguing is the practice of male Yell Leader Sharks joining together, auto-erotically releasing their semen, and trapping it inside of hollow glass-like rocks on the ocean floor, then destroying said semen filled rock. The Yell Leader Shark also has an affinity for collies, and is frequently observed sodomizing them, and disposing of the carcass in an ordered, systematic fashion, often in the same place - akin to a human graveyard.