Hey there. It’s me, WRNL overlord, Fitzy. I’m not the guy who usually pens the Hotbox, but damn it, it’s the offseason and I DO WHAT I WANT.
I know what you’re thinking... Where’s CYdeliner? Did he fall off a cliff? Did he get signed by an NBA team to warm the bench for $100 million over 5 years in free agency? Did he run off chasing Pokemon because he thinks he's gotta catch 'em all?
Unfortunately (okay, fortunately, I guess...), none of the above are the answer to that question. CYdeliner is off providing his infinite wisdom to The Man right now, so you’re left with the B-Team to answer all the
shitty interesting questions you have about Iowa State and other random crap.
I felt like doing a regular mailbag a couple weeks ago and put out a call for questions, but it’s now a whole new week and I’m in a mood for dishing out some HOT TAKES. Because of this, your mailbag questions are getting the wisdom of the Hotbox.
Let’s see what knowledge you posers want to be enlightened with.
@WideRtNattyLt would you consider Steele Jantz the GOAT QB?— Isaiah Lucio Lopez (@WreckEmLucio) June 30, 2016
Okay, look... Of course Jantz isn’t the best statistically to ever play the game, and he never won a National Championship or anything during his two seasons playing D-I ball.
BUT, if we’re measuring GOATness on the amount of chicks shagged + number of awesome nicknames + amount of beers fans consumed directly due to his play on the field + a perfect winning percentage against GOD’S TEAM — then YES, Steele Jantz is the greatest of all time.
Here’s the most recent photographic proof to back up that claim.
Could Joe Montana pull off this look? Peyton Manning? Dan Marino? Tom Brady? The answer is no.
@WideRtNattyLt what ever happened to Devin Lemke?— Tim Hanson (@timhansonjr) June 30, 2016
It appears Mr. Lemke graduated in 2015 and relocated to Minneapolis, according to my in-depth research (one minute perusing Facebook). He’s probably working for The Man now, much like CYdeliner. They should totally form a support club.
@WideRtNattyLt alright, for real: How is ISU's defense looking for 2016? Who do you predict as the breakout players?— Hunter Cooke (@HunterCookeVTM) June 30, 2016
My wife left me.
I thought about leaving it at that to give you Texas Tech hooligans a taste of your own medicine (about 5 Tech fans replied to my tweet asking for mailbag questions with the wife leaving thing), but since I have this thing called a heart, I will provide an honest answer for your inquiry.
The strength of Iowa State’s defense in 2016 is going to be the secondary. The line and linebackers are going to be decent at the top, but an injury or two could be devastating as there’s not a whole lot of depth at those positions. The good news is, Matt Campbell is switching the defense to primarily a 4-2-5 scheme, which will hopefully combat the pass-heavy offenses in the Big 12 while also masking our thin personnel at linebacker.
As for breakout players, I look for guys like Kamari Cotton-Moya and Brian Peavy to build on the success they’ve had at defensive back early in their careers. For newbies, true freshman LB Tymar Sutton could get opportunities to shine now that ISU is without the services of former linebackers Jordan Harris, Luke Knott and Levi Peters.
@WideRtNattyLt Okay, serious question: I'm starting my iTunes library over. Any artist suggestions? And I listen to pretty much anything...— Kyle Jacobson (@MisterLubbock) June 30, 2016
Pretty much anything, huh? Well you’re in luck, because I listen to pretty much anything as well as long as the singer doesn’t wail on about how much he loves his truck, going down to the river with a girl, drinking beer on his porch or how his cow got sick and died.
If you like hard rock/metal, Tremonti put out a great album earlier this year called Dust that is fantastic (here’s a link to the title track). When I’m in the mood for catchy songs with funny lyrics, I fire up new tunes from The Lonely Island.
And finally, I should probably recommend you download some Kanye, Drake or Eminem or I’ll get bitched out in the comments. Please consult with noted rap fans MatthewGray and CYHusker if you enjoy that cup of tea.
@WideRtNattyLt I can't help but notice the baseball team didn't win a single Big 12 game this year. What are your thoughts?— Drew Borsellino (@TheDrewTTU) June 30, 2016
UN-DE-FEAT-ED CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP.
@WideRtNattyLt how will the team respond after losing a player favorite coach and what can the big 12 expect to see come the fall?— Coach Smith (@AVCoachSmith) June 30, 2016
If the players are buying into Matt Campbell half as much as Cyclone fans are so far, then the response on the field will be great.
On-field effort was rarely a problem for ISU under Paul Rhoads, but execution was a different story. To alter the trajectory of this program, Campbell is gonna have to change that.
Sometimes under the Rhoads staff, it felt like ISU was disjointed, almost as if everyone wasn't on the same page 100% of the time. Culture development and team unity can go a long way toward winning close games (or avoiding defeats — cough cough Kansas State last year cough cough), and Coach Campbell seems to be a master of culture building based on everything we’ve heard since he’s arrived in Ames. A couple more close wins last year likely would have been enough to help Rhoads keep his job for another season.
From a tactical standpoint, leaning heavily on star players like Mike Warren and Allen Lazard will be key in year 1 for the Campbell staff until they can rebuild the lines on both sides of the ball and come up with more depth at every position.
CYnative writes: Will Beastly Burton break a backboard this year!?
YES. All the backboards shall break under the thunderous dunking wrath of Burton.
This kinda reminds me of the Lattimer Alert System WRNL made back in the day... Maybe it’d be worth updating to a Burton Alert System. Chances of backboards biting the dust? Elevated, at minimum.
FormerCyMascot writes: How fast should I take my hype train to come fall camp time? 20 mph? 88 mph? 200 mph?
I say shovel all the coal into the engines and go full steam ahead. We Cyclone football fans only get a few weeks out of every year to dream about amazing things — like getting 7 wins or not falling flat on our faces in bowl games...
Bask in the euphoria of renewed excitement under a fresh staff while keeping your Iowa State nut cup safely covering the FormerCyMascot family jewels.
And drink lots of alcohol. That’ll help either way.
Do you have questions you’d like answered? Leave them in the comments and they might be included in our next Mailbag/Hotbox!