Even fine journalistic institutions like Wide Right & Natty Lite fall prey to the mind-numbing, sports-less expanse that is the gap between basketball and football. As the doldrums of the off-season rolled on, our dedicated sports minds began to wander to non-sports-related topics. Most were rejected (especially if ClonesJer got an idea after midnight), some were forgotten, and others were executed, especially if it involved burgers and barbecue.
Our waistlines are We are grateful that the expanse has finally run its course. Football is (finally) here and we’ve got just the thing to celebrate the end of the off season and the return of football: music. We are proud to introduce the newest WRNL venture: The Wide Right & Natty Lite Spotify channel.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Spotify, it’s a wonderful music-streaming service. Thus it is the vessel we have chosen to bring you not only some of our favorite tunes, but also some Iowa State-themed playlists that have been missing from everyone’s lives since Al Gore invented the internet.
We will be unveiling the various playlists throughout the week as a terrific lead up to the return of Cyclone football. Among them are playlists that will make you laugh, cry, smile, and rage. The WRNL staff has put together a list we know you will love, and we’re also aiming to let YOU, the readers, create one of your own.
Without further adieu, let’s take a look at the first 3 playlists.
Where would Cyclone athletics be without the guidance of Jamie Pollard? We asked ourselves the same question when coming up with titles for playlists, and felt obliged to give our penny-pinching, high-waisted-khaki-pants-wearing overlord a musical shout out.
JP’s Greatest hits includes:
- Like 7 or 8 Kenny G songs, including Sentimental, Don’t Make Me Wait For Love, and My Heart Will Go On (get it?).
- Literally the entire The Very Best of Enya album.
- Plenty of Jay-Z and Kanye West, including Who Gon’ Stop Me and No Church in the Wild.
- Drake’s Energy and Started From the Bottom (a song that fits ISU pretty well, tbh).
- A few songs off The Very Best of James Taylor and Ultimate Sinatra, including You’ve Got a Friend and It’s Been A Very Good Year.
Summary: A playlist fit for a balla’ athletic director who gets things done, yet enjoys red wine, jogging, and belting his pants over his belly button.
If the City of Ames is known for its water, then Iowa State is known for its rioting; whether it’s burning dumpsters, flipping cars, or tearing down goal posts, rioting is an ISU tradition. This playlist is also a requiem for our favorite spring event... VEISHEA.
Don’t Knock It ‘Till You Riot includes:
- Pulse of the Maggots by Slipknot, which was a top contender to be ISU’s football entrance song in our recent contest.
- Limp Bizkit’s aptly-named and surprisingly appropriate Break Stuff.
- Several songs from metal groups like Metallica, including Creeping Death and Whiplash.
- Many songs that have very fun titles, like Wait and Bleed, Madhouse, Take This Life, and Raining Blood.
- Several classic party anthems, such as Like a G6, I Love College, and Party Rock Anthem...
- Quite possibly the most fitting VEISHEA song of all time: Riot by Three Days Grace.
Summary: This playlist is not your typical party playlist... This is your “I-wanna-get-recently-divorced-mall-Santa drunk, tear down some light poles, flip over the cheesesteak man’s cart, fight a freshman or two, and wake up in Nevada” kind of playlist**.
While Cyclone fans might not be used to the sweet taste of victory, we are (sadly) well accustomed to the bitter taste of gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing, television-smashing, snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory styles of defeat.
There are too many instances to count (as well as even more painful games that we simply choose not to remember) of our sports team receiving a swift kick to the family jewels. Therefore, we felt it necessary to have this venture include a playlist to help serve as a coping mechanism for those dark and trying times.
Cyclone Nut Shot includes:
- A song that describes all of us as soon as the inevitable collapse begins: Korn’s Coming Undone.
- A song like that is best followed up with one of the following: Linkin Park’s Bleed It Out or Three Day Grace’s I Hate Everything About You.
- These classics are probably best followed by another fitting tune... Britney Spears’ Oops! I Did It Again.
- Eventually, you might want to wallow in self pity for a few
months weeks dayshours. Beck’s Loser, Johnny Cash’s Guess Things Happen That Way and Hurt, Sinatra’s Here’s To The Losers, and Dean Martin’s Ain’t That A Kick In The Head are all highly recommended selections.
- If you ever manage to move on (which for some games is not likely to ever happen), we’ve got a few songs that will help get you there: The Rolling Stones’ You Can’t Always Get What You Want, U2’s Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, Billy Joel’s Only the Good Die Young, and Kanye West’s Runaway...
- BONUS: If you approach Cyclone sports with the attitude that the nut shot is always going to come, you can do some preemptive pregame listening with The Eagles’ Heartache Tonight or Kanye West’s Welcome to Heartbreak.
Stay tuned to WRNL for the release of more playlists leading up to Saturday’s Super Bowl matchup against the UNI Pantherhawks, as 3 more playlists will be dropped on both Wednesday and Friday.
**Disclaimer: WRNL is not liable for any and all lewd, deplorable, violent, or riotous acts performed before/during/after listening to this playlist.