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Introducing the Newest WRNL Contributors

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It's time for the noobs to come down to the front and introduce themselves!

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

As many of our loyal readers have probably noticed, WRNL added new members to our staff just about a month ago and they've been diligently contributing with their "words of art" for a few weeks now. It's about time we formally introduce you to the newest members of the family.

I asked each of them to write a few sentences about themselves so you could get to know them a bit better. Here's the noobs, as well as what you need to know about each of them:

52 Trap

He'll be covering: Football analytics and film review

"Having limited coaching experience from the backyard and limitless opinions from too many hours watching TV, I can now only see X's and O's. I have a history degree from ISU where I managed to fail library. I live in Texas where football was invented and I plan to subvert modern football principles with subliminal advocacy of the wing T."

Matthias Schwartzkopf

He'll be covering: Breaking news and football

"Here to make sense of words about Iowa State sports and poking fun at Iowa and Kansas. I like long walks on the beach and an "occasional" Natty Light. Graduated from Iowa State a few years ago with a degree in agronomy and now I work with fuel. Look forward to being apart of the WRNL team!"

AMar32

He'll be covering: Football and basketball from a student's perspective

"My name is Aaron Marner and I'm a sophomore at Iowa State majoring in public relations. I was born and raised in Ames and both of my parents graduated from Iowa State in the 80's (damn, they're old) so I've been a Cyclone my whole life. I can take anyone in a Wayne Morgan/Greg McDermott-era trivia contest and I'm easily the best NCAA Football 14 player you'll ever meet."

CloneTeach

He'll be covering: Football, basketball and gambling

"As an elementary education graduate of Iowa State I became an expert at paper mache and tetherball. After going undefeated during recess while I was student teaching, I know how Brittney Griner feels to compete as a tree among saplings. Speaking of an elementary education, Troy Davis got me interested in Iowa State athletics as a kid and I've never looked back. As a child I became a fan of the Cyclones, Cubs and Bears within about a twelve month span. Kids do the darndest things.

I love writing, talking and reading anything sports related, specifically Iowa State. I'm hoping to bring some quality football and basketball content to the table along with a heavy dose of satire. Fitzy wouldn't tell me exactly how much I'll make doing this but did say it was "pro bono". I think they said in Spanish class that means "very well", so I'm looking forward to adding to the slush fund.

I like traveling to as many different sports stadiums that I can and I've learned the real reason Kansas got rid of the track around their football field."

Kody Pedersen

He'll be covering: Basketball and occasionally football and breaking news

"I'm originally from Mitchellville, Iowa, most notable for its crown jewel, the Iowa Correctional Facility for Women. With degrees in English literature and journalism from Iowa State, I'm WRNL's foremost authority on metered verse and student debt. I spent a significant portion of my undergrad memorizing Greg McDermott's collection of set plays and extolling the virtues of throwing the ball to Todd Blythe. When I'm not yelling at televisions, I'm proselytizing on behalf of the greatest American rock band of the last 30 years, Phish. I currently live in Denver, where I read message boards."

HashtagChris

He'll be covering: Football and basketball

"I used to play football. I wasn't very good. So I tried to write about football. Also not very good. Fortunately, the Iowa State Daily and Sports Illustrated's Campus Rush let me write about the Cyclones anyway. I will try write okay things for WRNL, but I won't make any promises. I graduated from Iowa State and live in Wisconsin now, but I spend most of my days wishing I was day drinking in Ames."

abarberswife

She'll be covering: Editing

"At the risk of aging myself, I once slammed red-headed sluts (the shot) with Larry Eustachy at Lumpy's (RIP). Though I graduated from Iowa State's Greenlee School of Journalism in 2003, I didn't earn my officially licensed Iowa State Nut Cup until 2010 when Fred Hoiberg returned to coach the men's basketball team. Suddenly, by the power of McDreamy himself, I found myself obsessed with all things Iowa State basketball and football. I'm a one-time editor in chief of the Iowa State Daily with experience in both daily and weekly newspapers, though I'm proudest to say I once wrote a piece about the best bars in Iowa for Esquire Magazine. As to why they thought me expert enough to write about such a topic: no comment."

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We had a ton of talented people apply to write when I put the call out for new contributors and I truly believe the people listed above were the cream of the crop. I'm excited for what all of them can bring to the table for WRNL going forward as we continue to serve up Iowa State coverage in a tasty humorous form.

Have any questions for the noobs? Want to berate them? You know where to comment!