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The CyHawk Postmortem

Iowa State pooped its pants in Iowa City, and had to ride the whole way home in their poopy pants.

NCAA Football: Iowa State at Iowa Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

I took the two-hour drive over to Iowa City this weekend, proudly displayed my ANF shirt and enjoyed plenty of beverages on a beautiful day.

Except I made the horrendous mistake of not bringing a flask into the game. We needed it in this one.

Instead of a storm brewing, it was a shit storm

What Went Right

Not a whole lot.

Unless you want to jump on the Jacob Park bandwagon, or talk about the play of true freshman running back Kene Nwangwu — who was somewhat of a bright spot on the offensive side of the ball.

The rushing game was better than what we have produced in years past against Iowa. There were 126 yards on the ground, albeit a 3.6 yards per rush average, and still ISU has no run over 12 yards on the season.

Allen Lazard did Allen Lazard things, collecting seven receptions for 111 yards and a ton more targets thrown over his head, and well, out of reach.

Park had a serviceable performance, but still couldn’t get the Cyclones in the end zone. He throws almost a better ball than Uncle Rico in Napolean Dynamite, and showed glimpses of greatness. Now we get to have a quarterback controversy!

I’m pumped to hear all the media outlets beat this dead horse for the next FIVE DAYS!

On the defensive side of the ball, Jhaustin Thomas looked like a man possessed (at times), and had two sacks, although one was called back by a facemask call. He garnered pressure on the outside with brute force, beating double teams and showing the high ceiling we have all waited for.

It appears Brian Mills has supplanted Kane Seeley at the Mike Linebacker spot. He garnered six tackles, along with a sack, and it doesn’t surprise me one bit. Mills is a faster player than Seeley, and has a lot more upside.

The secondary wasn’t horrible – Iowa’s QB CJ Beathard just put the ball in tight windows, and had all day to throw.

What Went Wrong


The defensive line looked like a fucking train wreck, getting no push off the ball, and allowing Iowa to move the ball any which way they felt necessary. There were holes big enough for semis to drive through, and receivers running all over the field wide open.

The linebackers weren’t able to touch anybody until the running back was 5-6 yards downfield – but it wasn’t quite their fault. The defensive line got manhandled at the line of scrimmage, even 250-pound defensive end Gabe Luna was dump trucked by Hawkeye tight ends. Demond Tucker displayed his quickness off the ball, but it didn’t matter when his teammates were getting pushed back 3-5 yards off the ball.

The offense wasn’t any better — very few sustained drives, no momentum with big plays, and a wonderful 3-for-15 on third downs.

Lanning played his worst game as a Cyclone, as most of his passes were not even in the vicinity of the receivers. He hurried his passes – especially since the offensive line gave him little time to throw.

This game was lost in the trenches. And it went downhill from there.

Penalties bit ISU in the butt again, with 10 for 73 yards. The biggest bugaboo was multiple offensive linemen downfield flags – especially one that killed a Park to Lazard completion.

Even when Colin Downing came in, he disgraced #PunterU — with a 35-yard punt average.

Final Grades

F for the offense, F for the defense, everybody gets an F!

I’m not really sure what else to say — other than this may or may not be another dumpster fire season…

Please stop the abuse.