clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

How can Iowa State Take Advantage of the NCAA Letting UNC Off the Hook?

New, comments

The WRNL staff came up with some ideas for fake classes to help out the student athletes.

Jack Heintz/Iowa State Daily

After seven years of investigations in to the North Carolina academic fraud scandal, the NCAA released the following statement this morning.

The first time you read this statement you probably got a little mad. But read it again and you realize the NCAA just announced an amazing loophole: It is 100% okay for schools to create and promote fake classes. The NCAA is completely fine with this.

Iowa State needs to get on the ball right away to have a full course load of these classes prepped and ready to go to keep even the most illiterate student-athlete on path to graduation without even the need of a tutor. We came up with a few examples to get things started.

VEISHEA History 401

This 3 credit course will consist of one class session where all students select a bar on Welch Ave to get black out drunk and then burn a couch. This class will also be available for graduate credit if students complete an additional “uproot a stop sign” assignment.

David Irving finishes up his final assignment
Katie Titus/Iowa State Daily

Campaniling 269

Max Goldberg/Iowa State Daily

This 1 credit course will consist of a 12:00 to 12:01 lab taking place on central campus. Selection of a good lab partner is essential for success in this course. Campaniling 269 can be retaken for additional credit.

Enraging Hawkeye Fans 101

Taught by visiting Professor Georges Niang, passing this class requires posting of a tweet that receives a minimum of 25 angry replies from drunk Hawkeye fans.

America Needs Farmers 158

The ultimate do nothing course, America Needs Farmers 158 simply requires a student to loudly tell everyone within hearing distance that America Needs Farmers. Actually helping farmers is not covered in this course.

Do you have any other ideas for classes that Iowa State could add to the course catalog in the wake of this ruling? Help out the registrar by posting them below!