After seven years of investigations in to the North Carolina academic fraud scandal, the NCAA released the following statement this morning.
The first time you read this statement you probably got a little mad. But read it again and you realize the NCAA just announced an amazing loophole: It is 100% okay for schools to create and promote fake classes. The NCAA is completely fine with this.
Iowa State needs to get on the ball right away to have a full course load of these classes prepped and ready to go to keep even the most illiterate student-athlete on path to graduation without even the need of a tutor. We came up with a few examples to get things started.
VEISHEA History 401
This 3 credit course will consist of one class session where all students select a bar on Welch Ave to get black out drunk and then burn a couch. This class will also be available for graduate credit if students complete an additional “uproot a stop sign” assignment.
This 1 credit course will consist of a 12:00 to 12:01 lab taking place on central campus. Selection of a good lab partner is essential for success in this course. Campaniling 269 can be retaken for additional credit.
Enraging Hawkeye Fans 101
Taught by visiting Professor Georges Niang, passing this class requires posting of a tweet that receives a minimum of 25 angry replies from drunk Hawkeye fans.
America Needs Farmers 158
The ultimate do nothing course, America Needs Farmers 158 simply requires a student to loudly tell everyone within hearing distance that America Needs Farmers. Actually helping farmers is not covered in this course.
Do you have any other ideas for classes that Iowa State could add to the course catalog in the wake of this ruling? Help out the registrar by posting them below!