Hello and welcome back to the SECOND CONSECUTIVE Hotbox! Man, I never thought I would make it to two in a row after what DicFitz and his goons did to me. There was a place in the back of my mind where I never truly believed I was free. I continued to think I would wake up in the middle of the night with several bloggers in ill-fitting hoodies and sweatpants ready to bash me with their iPads. But the bloggers never came! In hindsight, I should have known a bunch of NERDZ would never have come and physically encountered The Box, a strong manly football guy. Yeah, that’s totally it! I’m definitely not in denial that I’m just a lazy blogger wearing an ill-fitting hoodie and sweatpants.
ANYWAYS, y’all know there is football game this weekend? I hear the weather is gonna be GORGEOUS. Don’t forget your sunscreen! Oh, and it’s a sell out! Man, I hope I can get a ticket for a reasonable price. Jamie Blockard must not be nervous at all. I hope we win.
BOX IT UP:
Would you rather see Baylor or Iowa never win another football game? Also, why is Emma Watson so hot? I'll hang up and listen.— Kevin Fitzpatrick (@KFitzy87) October 23, 2017
Hmmm well DicFitz hasn’t (YET) bloggernapped me yet, but he’s clearly keeping tabs on me. I don’t know whether to scared, honored, or aroused. And not aroused by Emma Watson. We went over this. The Box won, the NERDZ lost. The universe is in order.
And to your Baylor/Iowa question...the answer is just as clear as the Emma queston. DEATH TO BAYLOR.
AS FAR AS WE KNOW, the U of I hasn’t done anything of the sort, unless you want to count what Kirk does to his gum every week as assault, but I’ll be nice and not count that. And as much fun as it would be to watch Iowa lose for eternity, it would get pretty sad pretty quickly. Watching Iowa slap flaccid’s with Purdue every so often does provide a certain amount of extra entertainment value.
But Baylor on the other hand, has earned the universe’s scorn in a very special kind of way. We ALL can righteously root against Baylor for the seeable future. Not just #cyclONENation or the Big 12, ALL HUMANS can root against Baylor and have ample reason to do so.
Aww Ted, you’re so thoughtful! I think a competitive game of Flip Cup filled with mutual respect with bloggers on all sides who read the other’s blogs on a regular basis out of a sense of Iowa State blog support....
Really need an answer to question two here.— Jared Stansbury (@JaredStansbury) October 23, 2017
Oh. Well, Mr. Stansbury, CLICK THE DAMN LINK AND YOU MAY GET A PRECIOUS ANSWER TO DICFITZ’S QUESTION. The Box reads Cyclone Fanatic Dot Com every so often to catch up on Blum’s nostalgic puff-pieces and the weather threads (this is real). I have even read like a couple of Tailgate’s non-bias articles. I’m a saint!
Ugh. I’m back to calling it Flippy Cup now.
Where does Kyle Kempt rank in all time Iowa State football D Swingers?— Kyle in Iowa (@LeBronKrames16) October 23, 2017
This is tough to say. But I’ll take a shot at it.
1.) Jack Trice
2.) Seneca Wallace
3.) Kelechi Osemele
4.) Troy Davis
5.) Sage Rosenfels
6.) Kyle Kempt???
Jack Trice HAD to have been knocking that thing between his knees to be able to go out against a bunch of racists trying to kill him every week...and be GOOD. Seneca was a boss who won games. Kelechi is super mean dude who is now the best player at his position in the NFL. Troy was the best player on the planet who just happened to play on one of the worst teams on the planet. Sage is a legend. And then Kyle? I honestly don’t know.
He has won three Big 12 football games in his first three starts. That’s more than any other quarterback since, Seneca? Someone please fact check me, but even so that’s wild. But Kyle could have a monster hog and we would never know. He’s a robot. OUR robot.
If we beat TCU is it acceptable to have a one person riot in a city that is not Ames?— ISU4LFE (@isu4lfe) October 23, 2017
What city are you in? Cause if that just so happens to be Morgantown, WV, then it totally acceptable. Our Riot Bros to the east just burn couches in the street to keep warm, really. You could burn your own couch and some Riot Bros will inevitably show up and say, “So what we celebrating?” and BOOM, Riot Party.
But if you happen to be in say, any other community in America, you will probably get arrested for disturbing the peace, vandalism, and most likely public intoxication. You then have to weigh the fact is getting trashed and breaking some shit worth it if we win?
The Box says, YES.
Dear Box of Hotness, blessed art thou among us heathens, please spare me a moment of your time.
Where the hell did the alarson SFW porn gifs go? Did the new supreme overlord decide to try and make this hell hole into a family friendly environment? That was a shitty thing to do. You need to fire this Levi Jeans guy and hire a real leader, someone who will bring back tasteful smut that can be used in gif reactions.
First off, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? You come into my Box and desecrate my readers minds with that indignity! The Box won’t censor you like DicFitz has been doing to me for YEARS. I believe in freedom and the right to write any amount of ridiculous “sports” blogs as I please!
And as far as I know, Levi The Leader has embraced and enabled the same ideals as the Box, bUT maybe “alarson” has been subjected to the same tyranny I was subjected to by DicFitz...I know I wasn’t the only one, I heard others. Perhaps one day our resident smut gif’er will be released and welcomed back into #cyclONEnation once again. Stay strong.
All mighty Box that is Hot, will Prohm and Co bring us to 7 straight tournament appearances?
This might let some of you down, but the Box is not ready to proclaim a bid to the Big Dance. I have been walking around town just yelling to anyone that happens to be listening, that I think that this year’s edition of the Cyclones are gonna slip and slide on the bubble all year long. Now let me tell you why.
So you know how Iowa State was picked ninth in the Big 12 this year? Yeah, that may be some bullshit but I don’t think we’ll be in the top 4 this year. We usually finish a couple spots better than predicted and I think it is gonna be more of the same. The Box says we finish somewhere in the 5-7 range and historically, the sixth and seventh team in the Big 12 gets consideration into the tourney. Fifth is usually in, sixth is total bubble time, and seventh is usually on the outside looking in.
May the spirit of 3sus bless us from the great beyond. Canada, probably.
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“Information is not knowledge.”